Episode Transcript
You say you want toned arms—but what if there’s a part of you quietly choosing not to follow through? In this episode, I’m revealing the hidden choice your brain is making that’s keeping you stuck… even when you swear you’re ready for change.
Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 81!
Last week we talked about your compelling reason—and we went deeper into what I call version 2.0. We explored how to actually use your reason the right way, and more importantly, how to think about it. If you haven’t listened to that yet, go back and do that first, because this episode builds directly on it.
And just to refresh your memory—your compelling reason doesn’t lift the weights for you. It’s not going to magically make you stick to your plan. It’s not a shortcut around discomfort, and it’s not something you connect with once and check off like a to-do.
You have to keep reconnecting with it. Over and over.
Your compelling reason won’t tone your arms for you—but it will be there on the days when you're sore, frustrated, or feeling behind. It’ll be the voice that whispers, “This is why you started.” But even then, you still have to pick up the dumbbells. You still have to show up.
So today’s episode is about what happens after you’ve found your reason. It’s the next layer.
If you have a compelling reason, but you still find yourself not taking action—maybe you're stuck in start-and-stop mode, or you’re kind of dabbling but not really following through—this episode is for you.
And here's the question I want you to sit with:
Why aren’t you taking consistent action?
Or maybe, why do you take action for a few days and then ghost your own plan?
And the answer?
It’s actually super simple.
If you’re not taking action toward your goal—whether it’s doing the 3x/week arm workouts, increasing your weights, or following through on your protein plan—it’s because your brain is offering you a different option. And that option? Is to stay where you are.
It’s the option to not climb the mountain. To stay comfortable. To avoid the mental effort.
And as long as that option is still on the table, your commitment will always feel shaky.
You might dip your toe in. You might start strong. But you won’t stay in the game long enough to see change.
So here’s what I want to show you today: how to identify, understand, and ultimately let go of the quiet, sneaky reason you’re not taking consistent action toward getting toned, strong arms.
I like to call it: Option A vs. Option B.
Option A? That’s what you say you want.
It’s the version of you who follows through—who feels proud putting on a tank top, who doesn’t second guess herself in the mirror, who walks into a room with confidence and strength… because she earned it.
Option A is your goal.
It’s the toned arms.
It’s the proof that you didn’t give up on yourself.
But your brain—without you even realizing it—is also quietly offering you Option B.
And Option B?
It’s staying where you are.
It’s skipping the workout because “you’re tired.”
It’s pushing off your goal until Monday… again.
It’s telling yourself that being strong just “isn’t you.”
It’s the illusion of comfort.
And as long as Option B is still on the table—your brain will keep choosing it.
Because it feels easier… safer… more familiar.
And let’s be real: this shows up everywhere.
You can say you want toned arms.
But if you’re not willing to lift, plan your meals, or stick to a commitment longer than a week—your brain is picking Option B.
You can say you want to feel confident in your body again.
But if you’re still hiding, avoiding mirrors, or ghosting your goals after a “bad” day—your brain is picking Option B.
Here’s the wild part: most women don’t even realize this is happening.
They say they’re serious.
They feel serious.
But something keeps stopping them.
And that something?
Is the unconscious decision to keep Option B around—just in case this goal feels too hard, too vulnerable, or too far away.
I know this, not because I read it in a book—but because I lived it.
I used to tell myself I had to change. That I was so ready.
But day after day, I wouldn’t follow through.
And I didn’t understand why—until I saw the truth:
You can’t fully commit to Option A until you take Option B off the table.
That’s exactly what I teach inside Arms By Kristine—how to rewire your brain so that following through becomes who you are… not just something you try.
Let me give you a real-life example of how Option B sneaks in.
And it’s one I’ve heard from so many women lately—especially now, as we’re heading into fall.
It’s that “where did summer go?” moment.
Back in May or June, you told yourself:
“This is my summer.”
“I’m finally going to do something about my arms.”
“I’m going to feel proud of how I look in sleeveless tops.”
“I’m going to be consistent.”
And you meant it.
You had good intentions. You wanted to follow through.
But then—life happened.
Vacations. BBQs. Long weekends.
You got busy. You got off track.
And before you knew it, September showed up—and nothing had really changed.
You didn’t feel stronger. You weren’t following a plan.
And those tank tops you wanted to feel confident in?
You maybe wore them… but not without picking yourself apart first.
And now, you’re left thinking, “Why didn’t I just follow through?”
That’s Option B.
Option B is the part of your brain that says:
“Let’s just enjoy the summer. We’ll start in the fall.”
And then when fall rolls around?
“Let’s just get through the holidays. We’ll start in January.”
And before you know it, another year slips by—and your arms are the least of it.
What really hurts… is the self-trust you lose along the way.
Because deep down, you wanted to show up for yourself.
And when you didn’t, it wasn’t about willpower.
It was about the belief—often unconscious—that if it couldn’t be perfect, it wasn’t worth it at all.
And I get it. That used to be me.
I told myself I’d “really commit” when life slowed down… when I had more time… when it was the right season.
But I never stopped to question that line of thinking.
Because the truth is—life doesn’t slow down. There is no perfect season.
There’s only the decision to stop waiting.
So guess what actually happened this summer for so many women?
They hid.
Even though they said they wanted to feel confident.
Even though they said they were tired of covering up.
Even though they swore this was the season they’d finally stop playing small.
They still hid.
They wore cardigans on 80-degree days.
They angled their bodies away in photos.
They told themselves “I don’t care what people think,” but deep down? They cared. A lot.
And they created routines that felt safe.
Same old foods. Same excuses.
Same gym membership that never got used.
Same drawer full of tank tops that never got worn.
They didn’t push themselves to lift heavier.
They didn’t challenge themselves to take a sweaty post-walk selfie.
They didn’t ask for help, or try something new, or follow a plan.
Because doing that?
Would mean risking being seen.
Risking not being perfect.
Risking that awkward, messy middle where progress is slow and no one’s clapping yet.
And that felt unbearable.
So they told themselves they were just waiting until school started. Or until work calmed down. Or until they “had more energy.”
But deep down, they knew:
They were watching themselves not follow through. Again.
I’ve been there, too.
I remember times in my life where I swore I was desperate for change. I told myself I’d do anything to feel better in my body, to feel proud of myself again.
But when I looked at my daily choices?
I was structuring my life around avoiding discomfort—not creating change.
Just like women who say, “I want to tone my arms,” but won’t commit to 12-minute workouts or changing how they eat.
Just like women who say, “I want to be confident in a tank top,” but keep hiding behind long sleeves and long-standing beliefs about what’s possible.
They think they’re committed to Option A.
But what they’re really doing is holding onto Option B with both hands.
They’re organizing their whole day to avoid risk:
Risking failure.
Risking feeling behind.
Risking trying something new and not being great at it right away.
And listen—I get it. It’s so much easier to play it safe.
To just get by. To blend in.
To convince yourself that you’re “fine.”
But let’s be honest: fine isn’t what you came for.
You didn’t spend the whole summer frustrated and disappointed just to roll into fall and do the same thing again.
If your Option A is strength, trust, confidence, and toned arms…
You’ve got to stop settling for the false comfort of Option B.
Here’s what I want you to really consider today—because this part is sneaky, and most women don’t even realize it’s happening.
Option B feels safe.
It’s the version of life where you don’t have to stretch yourself.
You don’t have to risk feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
You don’t have to face the possibility that you might mess up or not get it right the first time.
It’s that quiet voice that says, “Let’s just stick with what we know.”
And for a while, it makes sense.
You don’t have to deal with soreness. You don’t have to change your routine.
You don’t have to show up to a workout feeling unsure of what you’re doing.
You just… stay where you are. Safe. Familiar. No big emotional waves.
But over time, that safe little bubble starts to feel like a trap.
Because the truth is, you’re watching yourself stay stuck.
You’re seeing other women make progress and wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”
You’re sitting in the same loop, telling yourself that you want things to be different… but not actually doing the things that would make them different.
And that’s where it gets painful.
Because you might think, “Maybe I’m just not motivated enough,” or “Maybe I’m not disciplined like her,” or “Maybe this is just how my body is now.”
But the real reason you're stuck? Is because Option B is still on the table.
And here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear:
Option B is anything that lets you avoid discomfort.
It’s the escape route. The workaround. The mental exit sign.
For me, when I was deep in that place of avoidance, I told myself all sorts of things.
That it was too late. That I’d already missed my chance. That maybe I just wasn’t built for this.
And those thoughts felt true. They felt logical. They let me stay “safe.”
But looking back, I can see now… they were just excuses my brain was offering me so I didn’t have to feel vulnerable or out of control.
That’s what Option B does. It lets you feel safe—but it costs you the life you say you want.
So I want you to pause and ask yourself this:
If your Option A is strong, sculpted arms you’re proud of… a body you feel confident in… and finally trusting yourself to follow through—then what’s your Option B?
What are you still holding on to?
Is it the belief that you don’t have time?
That you’re too old?
That you’re just not a “fitness person”?
Or maybe it’s more subtle than that. Maybe it’s the habit of starting over every Monday. Or spending hours researching plans but never actually starting one. Or waiting to feel motivated before taking action.
Whatever it is… that’s your Option B.
And here’s the problem with keeping it around:
As long as Option B is available—your brain will always hesitate.
It’ll hold back. It’ll offer you excuses.
Not because it wants to sabotage you—but because it wants to protect you from anything that feels unfamiliar.
But you don’t need more protection. You need more self-trust.
Inside Arms By Kristine, that’s exactly what I help you build.
We get clear on the goal—but we also get clear on what’s been quietly competing with that goal.
Because once you can name your Option B, you can start to take it off the table.
And when that happens?
You stop hesitating.
You stop looking for the back door.
And you finally start showing up like the version of you who finishes what she starts.
That’s where the real transformation happens.
And I promise, it has nothing to do with being perfect—and everything to do with being willing.
So here’s what I want you to do today—like, actually do. Not just think about.
I want you to sit down, take out a notebook, open the Notes app on your phone, whatever works—and I want you to walk through these questions with me.
Because if you’ve been stuck… if you keep saying you want toned arms but you’re not following through… if you feel like you’re always starting over or waiting for the “right time,” this is probably the most important exercise you could do right now.
This is how you finally get clear on what your Option B is—and why it’s still running the show.
So let’s start with this:
1. What’s the thing you say you want—but you haven’t fully committed to yet?
That’s your Option A.
Is it feeling strong and sculpted?
Is it finally being able to wear a tank top without second-guessing yourself?
Is it proving to yourself that you can follow through for more than a week?
Write it down—no filters. This is your summit. Your vision. Your why.
2. What’s the option you keep choosing instead?
This is your Option B.
So if Option A is doing your arm workouts three times a week and actually eating enough protein… what keeps pulling you away from that?
Is it skipping workouts when you’re tired?
Is it “starting over Monday”?
Is it telling yourself you’ll get serious after the holidays?
Be honest with yourself here—not judgmental, just honest.
3. Why is Option B so appealing right now?
And don’t say it’s not.
If it weren’t appealing, your brain wouldn’t be choosing it.
Maybe it feels easier.
Maybe it means you don’t have to risk failing.
Maybe it lets you stay in your comfort zone, where no one can see you struggling.
Even though it’s frustrating, there’s a reason your brain keeps going back to it.
4. What emotions is Option B helping you avoid?
This one’s big.
Is it helping you avoid embarrassment?
The awkwardness of starting something new?
The discomfort of realizing you’ve let yourself down in the past?
Or maybe it’s helping you avoid ownership—that feeling of, “If I take this seriously, then I actually have to show up.”
Write it all down. Emotions drive everything.
5. Who are you becoming by staying with Option B?
This isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness.
If you keep choosing Option B… if you keep skipping your plan, talking yourself out of workouts, telling yourself you’ll start “soon”—who are you becoming?
Not just in your body—but in your character?
What kind of woman lives at the base of the mountain when she says she wants the summit?
6. What would you need to let go of in order to pursue Option A?
Is it perfectionism?
Is it the idea that everything has to feel easy?
Is it a belief that change has to look a certain way—or that if it’s not dramatic, it doesn’t count?
Sometimes, we have to say goodbye to old identities just to get started. What’s yours?
7. Who would you have to become to go after Option A?
Let’s be real—there’s a version of you that follows through.
She shows up, even when she doesn’t feel like it.
She finishes what she starts.
She believes progress matters, even when it’s slow.
Who is she? And what does she do differently?
And last—question 8: What’s appealing about her?
Why do you want to be her?
Is it the confidence?
Is it the peace of mind that comes from keeping promises to yourself?
Is it the way she walks into a room and doesn’t adjust her clothes to hide her arms?
Because here’s the thing—she’s not a fantasy.
She’s not “other women.”
She’s you, minus Option B.
This is the kind of work we do inside Arms By Kristine. We go way beyond just sets and reps. We untangle what’s been keeping you stuck, so you can finally become the version of you who doesn’t quit.
I really want you to take the time to walk through those questions—because just knowing that Option B is there? That’s not enough.
Yes, awareness is the first step. Just realizing that you have another option quietly sitting on the table—one that’s competing with your goal—is huge.
But the real growth comes from digging deeper.
You’ve got to understand why it’s still there.
What is Option B protecting you from?
What emotions is it helping you avoid?
Why does it still feel safer—even when it’s not actually getting you anywhere?
Because once you see that clearly, then you get to make a decision.
Do you want to keep it?
Do you want to keep giving yourself that escape route, that back door, that “I’ll do it later” option?
Because here’s the truth:
As long as Option B stays on the table, your commitment will always feel shaky.
You’ll start and stop.
You’ll dip your toe in and pull it back out.
You’ll keep wondering, “Why can’t I stick with this?”—and never fully trust yourself to follow through.
So if you're in that place where you’re saying,
“I really do want this. I want this fall to be different. I want to feel strong and confident and actually follow through this time…”
—but you’re still not taking action?
This is the work.
Get honest about your Option B. Understand it.
And then decide—are you ready to take it off the table?
Because when you do that?
Everything changes.
Not just your arms, but the way you see yourself.
Alright friend, that’s it for today.
If something clicked for you in this episode, or if you have a topic you’d love for me to cover, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. Just shoot me a message at [Insert your email or CTA here].
And if you're ready to stop circling your goal and start becoming the woman who actually follows through—you know where to find me.
I’ll talk to you next week.
