Episode Transcript
The difference between women who give up and women who finally get the arms they want? It’s not willpower—it’s having a reason so powerful it pulls you through the days you want to quit.
Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 80!
I want to take you deeper into one of my favorite mindset tools—something I believe is essential for anyone who wants to tone and sculpt their arms, but honestly, it applies to any big goal you have in life. It’s what I call your compelling reason.
Now, if you’ve been with me for a while, you might remember me talking about this before—back in episode 18, “Why You Need a Compelling Reason.” If you haven’t listened to that one yet, I highly recommend going back after this episode because there’s an exercise at the end that will really help you get started.
But today, I want to go deeper. Because this is where I see so many women get stuck. I hear it all the time:
“I don’t know why I can’t stick to my arm workouts.”
“I guess I just haven’t found a reason strong enough to keep me going.”
And the thought is always the same—If my reason were compelling enough, I’d already have toned arms by now.
So in this episode, here’s what we’re going to do:
First, I’ll give you a quick refresher on what a compelling reason actually is.
Then, I’ll share the most common stumbling block I see when it comes to finding one—and it’s probably not what you think.
Finally, I’ll walk you through how to connect with your compelling reason on a regular basis, because this isn’t a one-and-done exercise. Your compelling reason is something you need to revisit and reconnect with, so it keeps fueling your motivation day after day.
Just as a quick refresher—a compelling reason is your motive for going after change when things get uncomfortable. It’s your “why.” And that’s critical, because change will bring discomfort.
If you want strong, toned arms, you’re asking your brain to do something that isn’t automatic yet—like picking up weights three times a week, saying yes to a walk instead of the couch, or showing up for your workouts when you’d rather scroll your phone. Your brain loves easy and familiar. Which means you’ve got to have a reason that’s strong enough to pull you through the hard moments.
Here’s where I see so many women get stuck: they come up with a reason that sounds good but doesn’t actually fire them up. It’s basic. It’s lukewarm. It’s… “nice.”
For example:
“I want toned arms so I can feel a little more confident in tank tops.”
“I want to get stronger so my arms don’t jiggle as much.”
“I want to have better definition so I can wear sleeveless dresses.”
Now, those are fine starting points—but are they really exciting enough to keep you going when it’s hot, you’re tired, and the last thing you want to do is grab your dumbbells?
The truth is, nice reasons don’t cut it. If your “why” doesn’t make you feel something—excitement, determination, even a little fire in your belly—then when discomfort shows up, you’ll tap out.
Inside Arms By Kristine, this is one of the first things we work on together. We go beyond “I want to look good in photos” and dig into the deeper reasons that will actually keep you going when your motivation fades—because it will. And when you have a compelling reason that truly matters to you, you don’t have to rely on motivation to keep moving forward.
Here’s why “nice” reasons don’t cut it: because real change always comes with discomfort. If you want toned, sculpted arms, you have to step outside of what’s easy, familiar, and automatic.
What’s comfortable is staying in your current routine—maybe skipping a workout because you’re tired, maybe reaching for snacks instead of water, maybe telling yourself you’ll start fresh Monday. Your brain loves these patterns because they require almost no energy. Habits like that are effortless.
But building the arms you want? That’s going to challenge your brain. You’ll be asking it to not take the easy route. To show up for strength training when you’d rather sit. To push through those last few reps instead of dropping the weights. To make choices that align with your goals when the easier option is right there.
And when you do that, your brain will resist. It will say, “This feels hard. We could just stop. We could do something easier.” And that’s exactly when your compelling reason matters most—it’s the anchor that keeps you moving toward your goal, even when your comfort zone is begging you to quit.
Inside Arms By Kristine, we work through this resistance together. We create a reason so strong that when you’re mid-set and your muscles are burning, you know exactly why you’re still lifting. When you’re tempted to skip a workout, you remember what’s at stake—and it pulls you forward.
Here’s the good news: the discomfort doesn’t last forever. In the beginning, it feels like every workout is a mental battle. But the more you show up, the more your brain learns that you can handle the burn, you can stay consistent, and you can get results without quitting. Eventually, showing up for your arm workouts becomes your new normal—and that’s when it gets easy.
But at the start? You need that compelling reason. It’s not just a “nice to have”—it’s the fuel that gets you to pick up the weights, finish the set, and keep showing up until you see the toned, confident arms you’ve been dreaming about.
I want to give you a few examples of what a compelling reason can sound like—because yours will be unique to you. But if you’re sitting there thinking, “I just haven’t found mine yet… my reason sounds nice, but it doesn’t really light me up”—then listen closely.
When I first committed to creating the strongest, most toned version of myself, I could have stopped with, “I just want my arms to look better in photos” or “I don’t want to hide my arms in sleeves anymore.” And sure, I wanted those things. But they didn’t make me feel much. They didn’t make me want to get up at 6 a.m. to lift weights, or push through that last burning set when everything in me wanted to quit.
So I dug deeper. And what I landed on—pretty early in my journey—was this: I want to be a woman who is proud of herself.
That was my missing piece. I remembered the feeling from when I was younger—the thrill of nailing a school play performance, the rush of seeing my name on the basketball team list, the pure joy of showing someone my artwork. But somewhere along the way, life got busy, responsibilities piled up, and moments of pride became rare.
I wanted them back.
I wanted to look in the mirror and not just see definition in my arms, but see a woman who kept her word to herself. A woman who pushed past excuses. A woman who earned the pride she felt. And that—more than looking good in a sleeveless top—was what kept me showing up.
Inside Arms By Kristine, I see clients find their own deeply personal versions of this every day. One woman told me her compelling reason was, “I want to be the captain of my own soul.” Can you feel the strength in that? That wasn’t just about lifting a dumbbell—it was about taking back her power, rewriting her story, and leading her life with confidence.
Another woman told me, “I want to be the version of myself my younger self dreamed I’d become.” That one gave me chills. It was her way of saying, I’m not settling. I’m becoming the woman I once believed I could be.
Do you see how these reasons go way beyond “I want to get fit” or “I want to be healthy”? They have emotional weight. They make you tear up a little when you say them out loud. They’re the kind of reasons that will carry you through the burn, the sweat, and the days you just don’t feel like it—because they matter too much to quit on.
That’s the kind of compelling reason you need to find. Not the one that just “sounds nice,” but the one that makes you stand taller, pick up the heavier weight, and keep showing up until your results match the vision in your heart.
When I think about all the generations of women who came before us—their limited opportunities, the choices that were taken from them—I think, Yes… I want to be their wildest dreams.
That’s the kind of fuel a compelling reason can give you. And while mine might be different from yours, I want to share a list to help you start brainstorming what could light your fire.
These are the kinds of reasons that go beyond looking good in a sleeveless top:
I want to be someone who always chooses me.
I want to be someone who can trust herself. (One of my favorites, because so many women I work with inside Arms By Kristine realize that self-trust has been missing for years—and building strong arms becomes a symbol of rebuilding that trust.)
I want to be a role model for my kids.
I want to be an example of what’s possible, not a warning to others.
I want a future that’s better than my past.
I want to learn from my past rather than repeat it.
I want to be the best version of myself.
I want to dare greatly.
I want to be someone who never gives up on her dreams.
I want to be exceptional.
I want to wake up proud of myself every single day.
I want to want more for my life than just comfort and ease.
Here’s the thing—your compelling reason doesn’t have to be unique or original. You can borrow it, tweak it, or be inspired by someone else’s. It could come from a book, a poem, a podcast, a conversation, or even a song lyric.
What matters is that it sparks something deep in you. That when you say it out loud, you feel it in your chest. That it’s strong enough to pull you through the days you don’t feel like showing up for your arm workout, or when that voice in your head says, “Skip it—one day won’t matter.”
In Arms By Kristine, we find this reason together—because the right one doesn’t just help you get toned arms, it helps you become the woman you’ve always wanted to be. And that’s so much more than “nice.” That’s life-changing.
Alright—this last part is everything. It’s how you connect with your compelling reason on a regular basis so it actually drives your results.
Here’s the secret: you’ve got to spend time right now, in the present, with your future self.
Your future self is the woman who already has the arms, the strength, and the confidence you want. She’s already put in the work. She’s standing at the top of the mountain looking back at the climb, smiling because it was worth every rep, every workout, every choice to show up when she didn’t feel like it.
Your future self doesn’t think twice about grabbing her weights—she just does it. She doesn’t debate if she “has time” for a workout—she makes time. She doesn’t avoid sleeveless tops or hide in the back of photos—she wears what she wants and stands tall.
She knows the deeper truth: she didn’t just tone her arms, she rebuilt her trust in herself. And that’s the real win.
I want you to imagine her. Really go there.
What does her morning look like when she wakes up feeling proud of her consistency?
How does she feel when she’s getting dressed and catches her reflection?
What does she think about when she’s mid-set, feeling her muscles work?
How does she carry herself at a party, a work event, or even just walking into a room?
Now, here’s how you make this real:
Pick a compelling reason—doesn’t have to be perfect. Just choose one that sparks something in you. Maybe it’s “I want to be a woman who always chooses herself” or “I want to be someone who can trust herself.”
Imagine that reason as if it’s already true for you. Picture your future self living it out—down to the smallest details.
Write it all down. Don’t just think about it—get it on paper.
Put it somewhere you’ll see it often—your phone wallpaper, your bathroom mirror, your journal. Revisit it every week, and definitely before moments when you know motivation might dip.
This is exactly what we do inside Arms By Kristine—we don’t just talk about what you want, we train your brain to become the woman who has it. And here’s the best part: when you connect with your future self regularly, you start making her decisions today. And those choices? They’re the ones that will shape your arms, your mindset, and your life.
So don’t just hope you’ll “feel motivated” tomorrow. Borrow the motivation from the woman you’re becoming—because she already knows what’s possible.
So here’s the bottom line: every woman who wants strong, toned arms—and the confidence that comes with them—needs a compelling reason. There are so many possibilities, but you’ve got to find the one that actually excites you, the one that makes you want to show up even when it’s hard.
And remember…
Your compelling reason won’t do the push-ups for you.
It won’t pick up your dumbbells.
It won’t erase the burn in your muscles or the temptation to skip your workout.
And it’s not something you connect with once and check off your list.
You are still in charge. You are still the one who has to take action.
Think of it like this: you’re a mountain climber. Your future—the arms, the strength, the self-trust you’re chasing—is the summit. Your compelling reason? It’s the why behind every step you take. But it’s not a magic elevator to the top. You have to climb.
Some days, that climb will feel amazing. Other days, you’ll be tired, sore, maybe even wondering if it’s worth it. And that’s when your compelling reason steps in—reminding you why you started, why you’re choosing this path, and why the woman you’re becoming is worth every ounce of effort.
This is exactly how we work inside Arms By Kristine. We find your reason, we keep it alive in your mind, and we train your body and brain to keep climbing—until what once felt impossible becomes your new normal.
So here’s my challenge to you: before you walk away from this episode, pick your compelling reason. Write it down. Connect with it often. And then start climbing. The summit is waiting—and I promise, the view from the top is worth it.
