061: The Lie of More: Why Enough Is the Secret to Lasting Results

The Enough Effect: Why More Is Breaking Your Progress Welcome to The Arm Coach Podcast. Today we’re diving into something that’s quietly sabotaging your progress—and it’s not what you think. It’s the obsession with more. More reps. More control. More perfection. But what if the real secret to getting results—stronger arms, sustainable habits, more peace—comes from understanding what’s enough? This episode is going to challenge your thinking in the best way. So if you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still stuck, this is the mindset shift you didn’t know you needed. Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 61! Today we’re talking about one of the most important topics when it comes to toning your arms, changing your habits, and honestly… changing your life. We’re talking about the concept of enough—and spoiler alert: it’s probably the very thing that’s been holding you back without you even realizing it. Once you understand what enough looks like—for you—everything shifts. I’m not just talking about how many reps you do or how many meals you track. I’m talking about your entire relationship with your body, your mindset, and how you move through your day. Most women trying to tone their arms are either doing too much and burning out—or not doing enough because they’re overwhelmed. Either way? You’re stuck in the wrong game. Understanding enough is what gets you out. Now, don’t get me wrong—there are plenty of people out there selling you rules. "Do this many minutes of cardio." "Eat this many grams of protein." "Don’t eat after 7pm." But let me tell you: most of those cookie-cutter rules were never written for women in their 50s, navigating real bodies, real lives, and real shifts. And they definitely weren’t written by someone who knows what it feels like to look in the mirror and think, Why aren’t my arms changing? Here’s the truth: guidelines can’t give you the answers—only you can. Your body isn’t a formula. And your transformation? It’s not something you can just calculate with a tracker or follow from a generic plan you found online. Real change happens when you stop outsourcing your authority and start listening to your own internal signals. That’s when you become unstoppable. There are seven billion people on this planet—and only one you. That means your version of enough—your perfect balance of movement, nourishment, and mindset—is yours to define. And if you keep relying on someone else’s idea of what you should do, you’ll keep ignoring what your body has been trying to tell you all along. In Arms By Kristine, we don’t follow generic rules. We build trust with ourselves. Because when you know your enough—you don’t just tone your arms—you change your life. I’ve been sitting with this topic for a long time, and I’m just going to tell you straight: what we’re diving into today is going to hit close to home. It might challenge some of the beliefs you’ve carried for decades—but that’s exactly why it’s powerful. I’m going to break it down into two key pieces that will help you understand your personal version of enough. These are the things that quietly sabotage our progress without us even noticing: #1 – The fear of wasting anything. #2 – The external stuff (like plates, timers, trackers) that mess with your perception. Let’s unpack both—but before we go there, I want to take you back for a minute. Because here’s the truth: for most of my life, I didn’t care about enough. I didn’t want enough. I wanted more. More food. More excitement. More results. More control. And it started early—like, little-girl-on-a-mission early. If you’ve ever felt like you were always chasing the next bite, the next fix, the next gold star—you’re going to feel seen in what I’m about to share. Growing up, my favorite snack was this messy, delicious pile of tortilla chips with melted Monterey Jack—what my family called “chips and cheese.” It wasn’t fancy, but it was everything. We had it all the time, and I would absolutely lose my mind if I didn’t get the biggest portion. I didn’t want to share it. I didn’t want “my fair share.” I wanted more than my sister. I wanted to win. And I didn’t even know what the prize was. I had a youngerr sister, and in my mind, everything became a competition—especially with food. It wasn’t about being full. It wasn’t about being satisfied. It was about winning. I needed to get more chips and cheese than she did. I needed the bigger pile. The idea of enough wasn’t even on my radar. It wasn’t “Did I get what I need?” It was “Did I get more than her?” And that mindset… it stuck around way longer than chips and cheese did. So it’s no surprise that I became a speed eater. I learned fast: if I ate quickly, I could get seconds before anyone else. And that habit didn’t just stay with food. I became a fast drinker too—soda, frappuccinos, wine, you name it. It was all about getting to more as fast as I could. And I didn’t see the pattern. I just thought, “This is how I am.” But the truth was, I wasn’t responding to hunger or thirst—I was reacting to scarcity. To fear. To the belief that there wasn’t going to be enough for me unless I got there first. I started noticing this pattern of rushing. Not just with food—but with everything. It was like my default setting was: Hurry up. Get it in. Move on. So I tried to slow down. I thought maybe that was the answer. Like, “Okay, maybe if I just force myself to chew slower or drink slower or move slower, I’ll fix it.” But let me tell you—forcing slow when your brain is wired for more now feels like nails on a chalkboard. It felt unnatural, annoying, and honestly? Pointless. Because deep down, I didn’t want to slow down—I just didn’t want to feel like I was falling behind. And slowing down felt like losing. What never even crossed my mind—for years—was to ask a different question entirely. Not “How do I slow down?” but… “What if I’ve already had enough?” What if the point wasn’t to race or restrict—but to recalibrate? To check in and ask: What’s enough food? What’s enough movement? What’s enough wine, or scrolling, or even trying for the day? I had never learned to trust that enough existed for me. My brain was stuck in this loop of more is always better, and I didn’t even realize how exhausting that belief system was. I lived in a mindset of grab it while you can. More was always the goal. More food. More reps. More discipline. More results. My thinking was: if I don’t go all-in now, I’ll miss my window and fall behind. But here’s the truth: that “I need more” energy? It’s coming from fear. Fear that you’ll miss out. Fear that you’ll never catch up. Fear that you're not enough unless you're always doing more. And the second I tried to question that—when I started playing with the idea that maybe… just maybe… I already had enough? That’s when the resistance hit. Hard. Because enough felt foreign. It felt lazy. It felt like giving up. But it wasn’t. It was the beginning of peace. Let’s get clear on what enough actually means. If you look it up, it literally says: “the degree or quantity that satisfies or is sufficient for satisfaction.” That’s it. Not maximum. Not perfect. Not “till you can’t move.” Just... satisfied. The sweet spot. The place where your body says, “Yep, we’re good,” before it ever has to shout at you with discomfort, exhaustion, or regret. And for women like us—who’ve spent decades overriding those signals in the name of dieting, overachieving, or people-pleasing—satisfaction can feel like a radical concept. For me, wrapping my brain around that was huge. Because I wasn’t wired for “satisfied.” I was wired for more. How can I get more done, more results, more praise, more control? But chasing more never gave me peace. It gave me anxiety. It gave me guilt. It gave me this constant hum of not enoughness. So learning to aim for enough instead of extra—that was a seismic shift. And it didn’t happen overnight. But once I opened the door to it… everything in my life got lighter. So let’s unpack the first roadblock most women hit on their way to discovering their personal enough—and trust me, this one is baked deep into our beliefs. It’s the fear of waste. I had to wrestle with this myself, and I watch so many of my clients bump into it too. You know the moment: you’re halfway through a meal or a drink, you’re actually satisfied, but there's still food on your plate or wine in your glass... and your brain screams, “Well, I can’t waste it.” So you keep going—not because you want it, not because you need it—but because throwing it away feels wrong. This is where so many women get stuck. You start practicing this idea of enough—you slow down, you check in with your body, and you realize, I’m actually good. But then… your plate still has food on it. Or your glass is half full. And suddenly, it’s like you’re five years old again being told, “Finish what’s on your plate.” So instead of honoring that you’ve had enough, you override your body’s signal because wasting feels worse than overconsuming. But here’s the hard truth we need to face: When you keep going past enough? It’s still waste. It’s just waste inside you. And that—my friend—is a game-changer. Now you might be thinking, “This is kind of silly, Kristine. Who really cares?” But I want you to try something. Picture this: you’re sitting at the table with a couple girlfriends. You open a bottle of wine, pour a glass for everyone, and there’s just a little bit left in the bottle. It’s not much—just enough for maybe one more glass. And then the moment hits. Everyone’s had enough, but that wine is still sitting there. What’s your instinct? Be honest. Is it: “Well we might as well finish it…”? I’ll tell you right now—99% of women I coach would say the exact same thing: “We should just finish it. No sense wasting it.” And it’s not just wine. It’s food. It’s snacks. It’s leftovers in Tupperware containers. This reflex we have to finish what’s in front of us, no matter how we feel, is strong. We think of it as being responsible. Thoughtful. Maybe even polite. But let’s call it what it is: conditioning. Here’s what I want you to really sit with: Why do we believe finishing the bottle is better than stopping when we’ve had enough? Why is throwing it in the trash “wasteful,” but storing it in our bodies when we don’t need it somehow the smarter choice? Because the truth is—when you go past that sweet spot of satisfaction, the extra food, the extra wine? It’s still waste. Only now it’s not in the trashcan. Now it’s in you. Your body doesn’t need it. It didn’t ask for it. And what it has to do now is deal with the excess—by converting it, storing it, processing it. And often? It’s storing it right where you don’t want it to go. So the next time your brain whispers, “Don’t waste it,” I want you to ask yourself this: Is it really better to waste it on me than to waste it outside of me? That’s the mic-drop moment right there. We’re terrified of throwing away food or drink. We don’t want to “waste” it. But no one stops to consider this: What if you’re wasting it inside your body? What if you’re not just finishing that glass of wine or polishing off that plate to be responsible—but you’re actually burdening your body with something it didn’t ask for? That’s not respect. That’s not kindness. That’s not discipline. That’s disconnection. But here’s what I want you to really think about: even if something isn’t biologically necessary—like dessert, or that extra helping of dinner, or even the scrolling you do when you're bored—it doesn’t mean you don’t have a reason for doing it. You’re not just reaching for more because it’s there. You’re reaching for a feeling. Maybe it’s comfort. Maybe it’s control. Maybe it’s celebration or distraction or soothing or “I’ve earned this.” And sure, sometimes we say, “I just like the taste” or “I just enjoy the routine.” But if I told you you could have that exact taste or sensation without the emotional relief or the reward your brain expects… would it still hold the same power over you? Because that’s the thing—we’re not overdoing because we’re weak. We’re overdoing because we’ve stopped listening for the moment when we’ve actually had enough. We blow right past satisfaction and then wonder why we still feel restless, stuffed, or regretful. This isn’t about the food or the workout or the screen time. It’s about tuning back into what your body and brain are really asking for—and realizing, you already had it… you just didn’t pause long enough to notice. Here’s where it gets real: so many of us say, “But I just like the taste,” or “I just enjoy the habit.” Whether it’s chips, or sweets, or that nightly scroll session after dinner. But ask yourself this—if you took away the feeling that habit delivers—the comfort, the relief, the numbing, the reward—would it still have the same pull? Because the truth is, you’re not just eating or doing for the flavor or the routine. You’re chasing a feeling. You’re seeking satisfaction, or calm, or celebration, or even escape. But if you’re disconnected from your own sense of enough, here’s what happens: you miss the moment you were actually aiming for. That moment of, “Ahh, this hits the spot.” You don’t stop there. You keep going. Not because you still want more—but because you’re looking for a sign that it’s time to be done. And unfortunately, we’ve trained ourselves to wait for the signal to be empty, stuffed, exhausted, or guilty instead of satisfied. Now let’s flip that into something more familiar: imagine you’ve just finished a delicious meal. You’re satisfied. Not stuffed, not hungry—just that perfect sweet spot. But there’s still food on your plate. A few bites. Maybe some bread in the basket. Or dessert’s been ordered and it’s sitting in front of you, even though you already feel good. What do you do? Do you honor that you’ve had enough—or do you tell yourself, “It’s just a few more bites,” or “I shouldn’t waste it,” or *“I’ll just finish it so I don’t think about it later”? That moment—that decision—is where your power lives. Because if you’ve already reached the point of satisfaction, then continuing past that isn’t giving you more pleasure. It’s just giving you more disconnection. It’s not helping you feel good—it’s taking away the feeling you already had. Most of us have been trained—conditioned, really—to believe that wasting anything we’ve paid for, cooked, or been served is practically a moral offense. We feel guilty leaving a few bites behind. We clean our plates, not because we’re still hungry, but because the idea of throwing away food feels “wrong.” But here’s what I want you to see: when you keep going after you've had enough—whether it’s food, movement, or effort—that’s still waste. It’s just happening inside your body instead of in the trash. And the cost? It’s your energy, your self-trust, your progress. This “clean plate” mentality is baked so deep into how we operate that we don’t even question it—we just keep going until the plate is empty, the to-do list is checked off, or the scale finally gives us permission to feel successful. It’s time to question that. Now if you’ve been listening to me for a while, you know I love a little backstory—and the “clean plate club”? Oh, it’s real. This wasn’t just something your mom said because she didn’t want leftovers. It came straight from the U.S. government during World War I. There was an actual agency—the U.S. Food Administration—whose job was to make sure Americans weren’t wasting food during a time of serious scarcity. They launched campaigns telling people to use less, eat everything, and ration carefully. And it made sense for that time. They were literally trying to feed soldiers overseas. But guess what? That messaging got passed down like gospel. From our great- grandparents to our grandparents to our parents to us. And most of us are still operating on that belief system—even though we are no longer living in a time of food scarcity. Here’s the thing: back then, finishing everything on your plate made total sense. When food was scarce, when families didn’t know where their next meal was coming from, making do wasn’t just responsible—it was necessary. But most of us aren’t living in that kind of scarcity anymore. We’re not rationing meat or flour or sugar. We’re living in a world of abundance. Leftovers, takeout, snacks in the pantry, groceries down the street 24/7. So why are we still behaving like we’re one missed meal away from crisis? Because the belief didn’t go away. It just got passed down—unquestioned. The U.S. Food Administration didn’t just create the message—they marketed it. And they were good. They were one of the first government agencies to use a massive advertising campaign to get the public on board. Posters, newspaper articles, radio ads, billboards… even volunteers going door to door convincing women—especially mothers—that leaving food on your plate was unpatriotic. Ten million women signed on. That’s not a small ripple. That’s a generational wave. And whether your grandma lived through it, or your mom grew up with it, or you just absorbed it at your own kitchen table—that message stuck. And it didn’t stop at home. This message made its way into schools. Kids were signing “Clean Plate Club” pledges like it was a patriotic duty. The posters said: “Food will win the war. Don’t waste it.” So what did we learn? That leaving food behind was selfish. That being done when your body says so was wrong. Even decades later—through the Great Depression, World War II, and long after—this idea kept coming back. Reinforced in lunchrooms, in family dinners, in restaurants. And now here we are, in 2025, still carrying the emotional weight of a war we weren’t even alive for. Still finishing the food, still ignoring our own bodies, still pushing past satisfaction—because somewhere deep in our minds, we believe “waste is worse than discomfort.” It’s time to question that. Actually—it’s time to break it. And here’s the wild part: I grew up believing in the clean plate club. Like many of you, I was taught that finishing everything in front of me was a virtue. That wasting food—or God forbid, leaving something uneaten—was disrespectful, selfish, even shameful. But here’s what no one told me: that entire mindset? That rule I had baked into my habits and passed down through my choices? It came from a war-time campaign that peaked fifty years before I was even born. I wasn’t living through food rations. I was living in a house with a stocked fridge, leftovers in the microwave, and snacks in the pantry. I wasn’t in scarcity—but my brain was. This is why understanding where that message came from is so important. In a time when food was genuinely hard to come by, it did make sense to eat everything on your plate. If you didn’t know when your next meal was coming, of course you would eat every bite while you could. But that’s not where most of us are anymore. And yet… we’re still eating like we’re preparing for famine. Still pushing through workouts like we’re being tested. Still holding onto guilt for stopping when our body says, “Hey... I’m good.” We’re honoring rules that don’t even apply to our lives anymore. My guess? You’re not in survival mode. You’re not rationing meals. You’re not living in wartime. You’re living in a season where your body is asking for wisdom, not rules. So the next time you feel that tug—that tension between “I’m full” and “But I should finish it”—pause. Ask yourself: Am I honoring my body… or am I honoring a belief from 1943 that no longer applies to my life? Because if that belief came from your grandmother’s childhood, but it’s still driving how you eat, how you rest, and how you exercise today—it’s time to lovingly retire it. You don’t need to finish to be enough. You don’t need to earn your place at the table. You just need to listen. Here’s what’s really happening when we obsess over not wasting: We stop listening to our bodies, and start listening to the plate. You’re not checking in to ask, “Am I satisfied?” You’re checking the serving size, the container, the rules. And when that becomes your compass, you lose the ability to feel what enough actually feels like in your own body. You’re not satisfied—you’re obedient. And obedient doesn’t get you strong. Obedient doesn’t get you toned. Obedient doesn’t build trust with yourself. Once you see this, it’s like a lightbulb turns on. You realize—it’s not actually about needing more. It’s about needing permission to stop. But instead of asking your body, you’re asking the container. You’re asking the workout timer. You’re asking the portion size. You’re asking the external cue to tell you when you’re done. So yeah, it feels “unfinished” when you leave a few bites behind. It feels “lazy” to stop at 15 minutes instead of 30. It feels “wasteful” to pour something out. But none of that is true. What’s really happening is you’ve been trained to let the outside dictate your enough. And that’s what we’re going to unravel right now. Let’s shift gears now, because this next piece is sneaky—and it impacts everything from how you eat to how you exercise. It’s all about visual cues. The size of your plate. The shape of your bowl. The time on the treadmill. The weight in your hand. These objects—these cues—trick your brain into thinking, “I’m not done yet,” when your body already is. And if you don’t know how to spot that trick? You’ll blow right past satisfied, right past strong enough, right past rested enough—and go straight into overdoing. So let’s talk about how the things you see might be overriding what you feel. Let me tell you about one of my favorite studies—it’s kind of hilarious and totally mind- blowing. Researchers wanted to test just how much our eyes (not our bodies) are in charge when it comes to deciding when we’ve had enough. So they set up this experiment with something as simple as soup. They designed these sneaky “bottomless” soup bowls—literally rigged so that the soup kept refilling from the bottom without the person eating ever noticing. Think about that. You’re eating soup, and without realizing it, your bowl never actually looks empty. They split people into two groups. One got a normal bowl of soup. The other group got the sneaky refill bowls. Everyone was told the same thing: “Eat as much as you want.” That’s it. No rules. Just eat until you’re done. So what happened? The people with the bottomless bowls ate 73% more soup—almost double—than the people with the regular bowls. And why? Not because they were hungrier. Not because the soup was better. Because their brain never saw the visual cue to stop. And get this: when the study was over, they asked everyone how full they felt. The people who ate way more from the bottomless bowls? They didn’t even notice. They didn’t feel fuller than the group who ate less. Because their eyes never told them to stop—so their body’s “enough” signal got completely ignored. And if that’s happening with soup… just imagine what’s happening with the oversized portions, the super-sized lattes, the 60-minute workouts, the never-ending to-do lists we’re trying to “finish” before we allow ourselves to rest. We’re not listening for enough. We’re waiting for empty. And that, my friend, is what’s keeping so many women stuck. Here’s why this happens: somewhere along the way, we stopped letting our bodies lead—and started outsourcing that power to what we see. We let our eyes, our plates, our trackers, our workout timers tell us when we’re done. Not our energy. Not our fullness. Not our actual lived experience. But here’s the beautiful truth: you weren’t born this way. Just watch a baby eat. They stop when they’re done. No guilt. No FOMO. No “But I should finish it.” They’re completely dialed into their bodies. They don’t care what’s left on the plate—they just stop when they’ve had enough. That was your default setting too—until the world started teaching you to override it. Then we get older. And the world starts piling on the rules: “Finish your food.” “Don’t be wasteful.” “Push through the workout.” “More is better.” And little by little, we stop hearing the subtle wisdom of our bodies—and start obeying the loud messaging of other people’s expectations. We learn to ignore our own “enough” in favor of being good, compliant, or productive. And that’s the exact moment we lose our ability to trust ourselves. And the wild part? We also start relying on the objects in front of us. If the bowl is big—we eat more. If the portion looks small—we tell ourselves it won’t be enough. It’s not hunger making the call. It’s visual perception. And those visual cues? They’re getting louder and more distorted every year. Now you might be thinking—“Okay, Kristine, but what does this have to do with my workouts or how I eat?” It has everything to do with it. Because it’s not just bowls and plates that have grown bigger over the years—it’s everything. Mugs, smoothie cups, snack bags, serving spoons, even the size of water bottles and wine glasses. And when we rely on the size of something to tell us when we’re finished—rather than tuning into how we feel—we’re not making empowered choices. We’re just following visual cues. Let me give you a visual: a standard serving of wine is five ounces. That used to nearly fill the glass back in the ’70s and ’80s. Wine glasses were smaller back then—six or seven ounces total. So five ounces looked full. It told your brain, “This is plenty.” But now? Today’s wine glasses are massive. Fifteen ounces is common. Some are 23 ounces—almost an entire bottle. And when you pour that same five-ounce serving into one of those glasses? It looks like a stingy little splash. And so what happens? You pour more—not because you need more, but because it looks like it’s not enough. Now sure, some people will tell you the big glasses are for “aerating the wine.” But let’s be real—when the glass is bigger, the serving looks smaller. So you pour more. You consume more. And you do it automatically. Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re lacking willpower. But because your brain has learned to use visuals—not internal signals—to decide what’s enough. And this doesn’t stop at wine. It’s how we treat food. It’s how we approach movement. When your workout doesn’t “look” long enough, you convince yourself it wasn’t effective. When your plate isn’t wiped clean, you tell yourself you wasted something. When your to-do list still has items left, you feel like you didn’t do enough—even if your body is screaming for rest. And it’s the same thing with food. When a small portion is served on a big plate, we feel deprived. When a workout is short, we feel like it wasn’t “real.” When we don't finish what's in front of us—be it reps, a drink, a to-do list—we question whether we did enough, even if our body is saying, we’re good. And here’s something wild: researchers found that when bars served wine in larger glasses—even with the same pour size—people ordered more. Sales went up by 14%. Why? Because the drink looked small. Because perception said: “I barely had any.” And I want you to think about how this plays out in your life. How many times have you told yourself, “That workout was only 20 minutes… it doesn’t count.” Or, “I didn’t sweat enough, so it wasn’t effective.” Or, “I only lifted the 8s today instead of the 12s, so I didn’t push hard enough.” That’s the same trick. That’s the same disconnection. You’re measuring enough based on how things look—not how you feel. So how do we fix this? Sure, you could measure every bite or every rep or every minute of movement. But I’m going to challenge you to do something so much more powerful: Start tuning back into your body. Instead of relying on the size of the glass, the plate, or the timer on your phone… Ask yourself: • How do I want to feel when this is done? • Am I satisfied? • Am I energized, or depleted? • Am I stopping because I’ve had enough—or because someone or something outside of me says I should keep going? And yes, this requires slowing down. But not just for the sake of going slower—this isn’t about dragging out your meals or doing meditation in the middle of your workout. This is about becoming the kind of woman who knows when she’s had enough. Not because a rulebook told her. Not because the container was empty. But because she listened to her body. Trusted the cue. And gave herself permission to stop—even when it looked “unfinished.” So the next time you feel that pull to finish the plate, push through the burn, or tick the last thing off your list just to “make it count”—pause. Ask yourself: “Am I done? Or am I just afraid to stop?” That right there? That’s where your strength lives. Here’s where it all comes together: Start noticing what your brain is doing when you see a big plate, or when a workout isn’t “long enough,” or when you feel that tug to keep going just because it’s there. That moment—right there—is your invitation to pause. Not to restrict. Not to punish. But to listen. To ask: What does enough feel like for me? Not based on what’s left on the plate, what the workout app says, or what your mom taught you when you were eight. But based on the signals coming from your body. Because before you can fully reconnect to your enough, you have to untangle all the noise— the “don’t waste it,” the “more is better,” the “you didn’t do enough.” You have to stop letting cups, clocks, and calories tell you when you’re finished. And start letting you decide. I’m so curious what this brings up for you. Because this concept of enough doesn’t just apply to food, or wine, or workouts. It applies to everything—how you rest, how you move, how you live. And once you reclaim it? You stop chasing perfection and start building trust. You stop measuring progress by how much you did—and start measuring it by how honestly you showed up. That shift? It changes everything. So here’s your challenge: This week, try practicing your version of enough. Enough food. Enough movement. Enough pressure. Notice where you feel the urge to keep going—just to finish. And instead? Practice stopping. Pausing. Trusting. Then come tell me how it felt. Send me a DM. Drop a comment. Share it in the Facebook group. I want to hear all about your experience stepping into this new level of self-trust. Because strong arms are amazing. But strong self-trust? That’s what builds the woman you came here to be. I’ll see you next week.