072: Why Rushing Sabotages Your Results

Today we’re talking about why your constant rushing and racing through the day might be the very thing sabotaging your results — especially when it comes to building consistent habits and finally getting those strong, toned arms. I’ll show you how to spot the subtle ways your brain keeps you stuck in stress, and what to do instead. This is going to change how you move through your day — and your entire approach to getting fit. Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 72! How are you? I’ve got a question for you today. Do you live with someone else? Maybe a spouse, partner, kids—or a whole crew under your roof? I bring it up because for over 10 years, it was just me, Quinn, and Grant. I was a single mom, running our household exactly how we liked it. We had our own little groove, our routines, our way of doing life. Then I married Joe—and we’ve now been married for 14 years—but I’ll tell you, blending our worlds in the beginning was a whole new adventure. Joe had also lived on his own for a long time, so we both had our own habits and funny little quirks that didn’t always match up. One thing that stands out is how Joe got a front-row seat to sides of me that, honestly, no one else ever saw. Like what I call my super efficient tidying mode. This is where I suddenly kick into high gear and start zipping around the house—folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, sorting through mail, wiping down counters—basically bouncing from room to room like a woman on a mission. When it was just me, Quinn, and Grant, no one paid much attention to it. But now, Joe will sometimes stop, tilt his head, and say, “Hey, are you okay? You seem… a little tense. Is something wrong?” And what’s my immediate reaction? I get annoyed that he’s even asking if I’m annoyed! So now, remember we all know the think-feel-act cycle. Joe didn’t create my annoyance. His question didn’t make me annoyed. I was annoyed because of what I was thinking in that moment. It was thoughts like, “Why is he asking me if I’m annoyed? I’m just trying to get everything done. Why is he bothering me? Doesn’t he see I’m being efficient?” That’s what created the annoyance. It was never his question — it was all my brain. Now, I could have just as easily thought, “Isn’t that sweet? He cares enough to check in on me.” But let’s be real — that is not where my mind went automatically. And even though he kept asking, I kept insisting, “No, I’m not annoyed! Nothing’s wrong. This is just what your wife looks like when she’s super efficient. This is how I get stuff done. You don’t do this, so it probably just seems weird to you.” So we kind of dropped it. But you know me — I’m a coach, I’m always curious about my own brain, about my habits, and about why I do what I do. And honestly, Joe is pretty intuitive. He can pick up on tiny shifts in me that even I might not catch. So I thought, “Alright, maybe he’s onto something here. Because I really don’t feel annoyed. I don’t feel upset. I do this work for a living — I’m pretty tuned in to my emotions.” But still, I wanted to explore it. So I started with what I teach all of you: the think-feel-act cycle. First I tried to see, “Okay, when I’m in this super efficient mode, what thoughts are running through my mind?” And honestly? Crickets. It was like nothing was there. My mind felt totally blank. It just seemed like I was being productive. Then I thought, “Alright, maybe there’s a feeling here.” So I started checking in with myself in those moments, asking, “Kristine, how are you feeling right now?” Still… nothing. I felt fine. Couldn’t identify a specific emotion. But remember — there are three parts to this cycle. And the one thing I could absolutely pinpoint was my action. I was rushing. Super efficient tidying mode is basically me flying around the house, sometimes even sliding in my socks from the kitchen to the bedroom to the laundry room. It’s borderline comedic how fast I move. So that was my clue. My action was moving really, really quickly. And since we know that our actions are always driven by how we feel — and our feelings are always created by what we’re thinking — I knew that even if I couldn’t immediately identify the thought or feeling, the cycle was still at work behind the scenes. It always is. And this is exactly what I tell all of you — whether it’s reaching for snacks when you’re not hungry, skipping a workout you promised yourself you’d do, or even obsessively planning your meals to the point where it feels rigid and stressful. If you want to understand why you’re doing something — anything at all — the fastest way is to either stop doing the action entirely or change it up in a meaningful way. Because when you do that, you interrupt the habit loop. You throw a little wrench in the automatic cycle, and suddenly your brain has to wake up. It starts feeding you awareness you wouldn’t have had otherwise. So that’s what I decided to do. Even though I couldn’t name a thought or a feeling, I could see the action — rushing — loud and clear. And that’s where I started. So here’s what I decided: Alright, I’m going to change this up in a meaningful way. I didn’t need to stop tidying completely — but I could slow it down. I could still clean up, still be productive, but it didn’t have to look like a frantic race around the house. So that’s exactly what I tried. I slowed down. And guess what happened? Almost immediately, my brain started throwing a fit. It was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa — this is not how we do things. Super efficient mode is fast. Why are we moving slow? This feels wrong. Slow is a problem. Hurry up, Kristine! Get it done, keep moving, go, go, go!” All of a sudden I had full access to my thoughts. They were loud and clear: “You’ve got to get this done.” “Hurry up.” “Move faster.” And because I interrupted my usual habit loop by slowing down, I finally could see, “Oh. So this is what’s running through my mind on autopilot.” Once I spotted those thoughts, it became obvious what feeling they were creating. Because remember — your actions always flow from how you feel. So how was I feeling when I was thinking, “You’ve got to get this done. Hurry up. Go, go, go”? I was feeling frantic. That slightly anxious, edgy undercurrent was fueling my rushing around the house. But here’s the thing: I’d practiced this habit of rushing for so long, it was so baked in, that those thoughts and that feeling were completely unconscious. I didn’t even realize there was a low-level frantic energy driving me. It was just how I operated — and it felt normal. It wasn’t until I deliberately slowed down that it all came into focus. And want to hear the wildest part? I discovered I could still be super efficient without rushing. I wasn’t moving at a snail’s pace; I just wasn’t racing. I got just as much done — but without that undercurrent of frantic energy. When I finished tidying at this slower, calmer pace, I actually felt better. I wasn’t left with that wired, slightly stressed sensation. I felt more settled, more present. And that’s so important to see. Because even if you aren’t fully conscious of an emotion like “frantic,” your body is still feeling it. It’s still simmering underneath, shaping how you move through your day. So here’s what I want you to really see: Your emotions are always creating shifts in your body. Sometimes they’re huge and obvious — like when your heart races before speaking in public. But other times, they’re these tiny, subtle changes that you barely register. And that’s what I want to explore with you today. I want you to start noticing the subtle emotions you’re experiencing throughout your day. Because they absolutely contribute to how you feel overall. But more than that, I want to show you how powerful it is to develop the skill of simply being where you are. When you can practice this — being truly present in the moment you’re in — it actually helps interrupt some of those unconscious habits. You know, the ones where you can’t quite identify the thought driving it, or you’re not sure exactly what you’re feeling, but you keep finding yourself reaching for snacks you didn’t plan, or mindlessly skipping your arm workout again. Being where you are gives you a way to cut through that autopilot. And this work matters so much. Because how you feel over the course of your day — all those subtle emotions that your thoughts create — add up. If by the evening you find yourself thinking, “Ugh, I just need to unwind… I need a reward… I need a little something to take the edge off,” that’s why. It’s not random. It’s coming from all those feelings building up beneath the surface. Now, here’s the tricky part. Being where you are sounds so simple. Like right now — I’m in my office, recording this podcast, fully present with you. My mind isn’t off worrying about my to-do list or replaying something from last week. I’m practicing being exactly where I am. I talk about this all the time with my clients, especially around the more mundane stuff. Because whether it’s doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, loading groceries into the car, or prepping your weights for a workout — our brains are not used to being present. Why? Because the human brain is wildly efficient. You can fold towels while worrying about a work problem. You can chop veggies while stewing over something that happened last month. You can do bicep curls while mentally making your grocery list. It’s actually a skill our brains have — to be physically doing one thing while mentally somewhere else. But here’s the catch: more often than not, we’re not using this skill in a helpful way. We’re usually stuck in the past — replaying something that happened yesterday or ten years ago — or we’re off in the future, worrying about tomorrow or next year. And for most people, when they notice this, it’s not just neutral daydreaming. It’s their brain focusing on the past or the future in a negative way. So think about this: when you’re replaying what happened at work yesterday, or worrying about that upcoming parent-teacher conference, chances are, you’re not doing it in a positive, helpful way. You’re probably running through it with a negative spin. And listen — that makes total sense. If you don’t supervise your brain, it’s wired to go to the negative. Why? Because spotting the negative used to keep humans alive. Way back when, being hyper-aware of danger — like wondering, “What’s rustling in that bush? Is it a tiger?” — was crucial for survival. Your brain was literally designed to scan for threats. The problem is, we don’t live in those kinds of life-or-death environments anymore. Most of us are incredibly safe day-to-day — way safer than humans were thousands of years ago. But your brain hasn’t caught up. It still loves to wander into what I call the negative past or the negative future. It thinks it’s helping you stay safe. So what do you do? You have to practice bringing it back to exactly where you are. If you’re in the grocery store, focus on buying groceries. You don’t need to be replaying the fight you had with your husband or stressing about that holiday gathering. If you’re folding laundry, just fold laundry. Feel the fabric, notice the colors. You don’t have to be worrying about your daughter’s college applications or that awkward conversation at work. Being present will feel awkward at first. It’ll feel almost unnatural because your brain is so practiced at hanging out in the negative past and the negative future. It thinks, “Spotting problems is my job. If everything seems okay right now, let me rummage through the past or future to find something wrong.” Except… in this moment? You’re perfectly fine. You’re just washing dishes. Cooking dinner. Putting your weights away after a workout. Nothing has actually gone wrong. But your brain — the part that’s always on alert — wants to search for problems anyway. And when it does, you end up thinking negative thoughts that create negative emotions. So what happens? By the end of the day, all those subtle undercurrents of worry, annoyance, or anxiety build up. Even if it’s not super intense in the moment, it adds up. And then of course your brain thinks, “This day was hard. I need something to take the edge off.” Maybe that’s skipping your planned workout and plopping on the couch. Maybe it’s a glass of wine. Maybe it’s reaching for snacks you weren’t even hungry for. Part of what you’re trying to take the edge off of isn’t just the day itself — it’s the mental habit of constantly living in the negative past or the negative future. So what do you do instead? You simply practice telling your brain, “Come back.” When I was learning how to do this, that’s exactly what I repeated over and over. I’d notice my mind drifting into stress or rehashing old stories, and I’d gently remind myself, “Come back.” At first, I had to do it again and again. But over time, it started to become second nature. And that’s why this matters so much — because when you’re always living in those negative stories, your brain cranks out emotions like worry, frustration, or overwhelm all day long. And of course by evening, it’s hunting for relief. Imagine how different your nights would feel if your brain wasn’t dragging you through all that all day. Now, keep in mind — this was not about my brain hanging out in the negative past or the negative future anymore. I’d already done so much work practicing bringing my mind back. Over and over, I’d trained it with that simple thought: “Come back. Come back. Come back.” So by the time I was in super efficient tidying mode, it wasn’t like I was replaying old arguments or stressing about tomorrow. But here’s what’s fascinating — I also wasn’t noticing any thoughts or feelings at all. It was like my brain was on blank autopilot. And maybe that’s you too. Maybe you’re thinking, “Honestly Kristine, I don’t really feel like I’m thinking anything. I don’t notice any strong feelings. I’m just getting through my day.” I get it. I was there too. The only reason I had a clue something else was going on was because I had Joe, my husband, saying, “Hey, is everything okay? You don’t look like you’re okay.” Think about that. For the decade I was a single mom with Quinn and Grant, I never saw my own face during one of my whirlwind cleaning sprints. Nobody was there to say, “Whoa Kristine, you look kind of ticked off.” So here’s what I want you to do: If you don’t find your mind constantly drifting into the negative past or future — if you’re more like, “No, I think my mind’s just… blank. I’m just being productive.” — then start by noticing your actions. Notice how you’re going about the little daily things: • Is there a speed to it? • Do you feel tight or tense? • Are you rushing? Has anyone ever said to you, “Hey, are you alright?” when you were just scrubbing the sink or driving your car? And did you immediately bristle, thinking, “Why are they asking that? I’m fine, obviously.” Funny how quickly we get annoyed at someone simply noticing our vibe, right? So pay attention. If you catch yourself speeding through your day — racing to prep meals, hurrying to finish your workout, or even power-walking through errands — just notice it. Because here’s what I’ve seen over and over with my clients: there’s almost always a speed. There’s this undercurrent of rushing. And one of the simplest ways to uncover what’s driving it is to do exactly what I did — slow down. Seriously. Slow down on purpose. See what comes up. Or, if you think, “No, I’m not moving fast. I don’t think that’s me,” then try this: when your brain nudges you to tidy up the living room or organize that pile on the counter, don’t do it. Not forever — just as an experiment. Interrupt the habit. Watch what happens in your mind. I promise you, if you either slow down or stop the action entirely, you’ll start to hear your thoughts. They’ll reveal themselves. So whether your brain is hanging out in the negative past, worrying about the future, or telling you, “No, I’m just being super efficient, I’m not thinking or feeling anything,” — you’ve got your own version of super efficient mode. And in either case, you’re probably generating a lot of subtle negative emotions under the surface — tension, pressure, urgency — without even realizing it. Those add up. They shape how you feel by the end of the day. And they absolutely drive that craving for relief — whether that’s reaching for snacks, skipping your workout, pouring a glass of wine, or just zoning out. The wildest part? I didn’t even have the slightest awareness I was feeling frantic until I slowed down. I truly thought, “This is just what being efficient feels like. This is normal.” But once I interrupted the habit, I discovered that frantic energy was fueling all those tasks. And even better — I learned I could still be plenty productive, still get everything done, but do it at a pace that wasn’t powered by that old low-level stress. So I want you to really think about this for yourself. How often does your brain slip into the negative past or the negative future all day long? Or maybe for you, it’s more like rushing through everything on autopilot, telling yourself, “I don’t really notice any thoughts or feelings — I’m just trying to get stuff done.” I want you to see how both of these patterns add up. They create these subtle, low-level negative emotions that build throughout your day. And by the time evening rolls around, of course your brain thinks, “I need something. I need a break. I need to take the edge off.” But what you’re actually trying to soothe isn’t just the day itself — it’s all those small, negative emotions you stacked up by not being present, by letting your mind wander into stress, or by rushing through everything like it was an emergency. I’ve been practicing this for a while now — turning my own version of super efficient mode into a slower, more mindful process. And yes, I still catch myself rushing. It’s a habit I’m still rewiring. But now, every time I notice it, it’s a cue. It’s my brain’s way of saying, “Hey, you’ve slipped back into that old thought — ‘Hurry up. Get it all done. Go, go, go.’” So when I notice the rushing, I use it as a signal to slow down. And what I’ve found is incredible: I still get plenty done, but by the end of it, I don’t feel drained, tense, or desperate to flop on the couch thinking, “Thank god that’s over.” Because it wasn’t all powered by that frantic, pressured energy. So think about how you could start bringing this into your own life. • Practice being exactly where you are. • Keep gently telling your mind to come back whenever you catch it wandering into stressful stories about the past or worries about the future. • And more than anything, try slowing down — whether you’re prepping dinner, going through your arm workout, or just driving home. You might be amazed at how this simple shift lowers the amount of relief or reward you feel like you need at the end of the day. Because if you create fewer of those subtle negative emotions throughout your day, by the time six o’clock hits, you won’t be carrying around this heavy need to escape or soothe. And if you want help really putting this into practice — not just learning how to slow down and be present, but also how to build consistent habits, keep your promises to yourself, and finally get those strong, toned arms you’ve been wanting — that’s exactly what we do inside my program, Arms By Kristine. It’s where we combine simple, effective workouts with powerful mindset tools just like this, so you can become the woman who follows through (without all the overwhelm and self-sabotage). Alright, that’s what I’ve got for you today. I want you to explore this, notice where you might have your own version of super efficient mode, and start practicing these tiny shifts. If you ever want to reach out or learn more about the program, you can email me anytime at [email protected]. And I’ll see you here next week.