Episode Transcript
When was the last time you truly celebrated
yourself—without food, without guilt, and without waiting for
someone else to notice?
In this episode, I’m sharing a story that completely changed how I
show up for myself—and how you can start doing the same.
Because learning to celebrate you might be the missing piece in
your arm-toning journey.
Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 71!
I’ve been doing a lot of celebrating lately. Between birthdays,
milestones, and just everyday wins, it’s been a season full of good
energy. And I’ve got another celebration coming up soon—one of
my closest friends is having a birthday.
So today’s episode is all about learning how to celebrate you.
Not how to be celebrated, but how to actively celebrate
yourself—your effort, your growth, your transformation.
And let me be clear: you don’t need champagne, a cheat meal, or
a “day off” to do it.
Learning how to celebrate yourself is a skill most women were
never taught. We were taught how to stay humble, how to deflect
compliments, and how to wait for someone else to acknowledge
our hard work. But no one ever pulled us aside and said,
“Hey, you just showed up for yourself for two weeks in a
row—that’s worth celebrating.”
Here’s the truth: It is amazing when someone else notices your
progress.
But if you don’t know how to recognize it for yourself, you’ll always
be waiting for someone else to make you feel proud.
And that puts your power in someone else’s hands.
We’re not doing that here.
You’re learning how to build toned arms—but more than that,
you’re learning how to trust yourself, follow through, and own your
success. Celebrating that? It’s not just allowed—it’s necessary.
Now here’s something I really want you to think about—because if
you've been listening for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk
about the Think-Feel-Act cycle.
You know by now: no one else is in charge of your emotions.
Not your partner. Not your kids. Not your best friend.
You are.
Which means when it comes to feeling proud, strong, or worthy of
celebrating—it’s not about what other people do for you.
It’s about what you choose to think about yourself.
Let me give you an example. Years ago, I had friends fly in to
surprise me on my birthday. They had gifts, plans, the whole
thing. But I had just gone through a breakup, and I couldn’t enjoy
any of it. They tried to cheer me up, but it didn’t matter. My
thoughts were stuck on what I had lost, and those thoughts were
shaping how I felt that day—not their efforts.
That’s the power of the Think-Feel-Act cycle.
Other people can do everything "right"—but if your thoughts don’t
line up, you won’t feel it.
And it’s especially true when it comes to your health journey.
Your family might compliment your progress.
Your trainer might cheer you on.
Your friends might notice your arms are more defined.
But none of that will matter if you don’t recognize your own
progress.
So here’s the question I want you to ask yourself:
What are you doing to mark your wins?
Because we’ve all been taught to wait for external
celebration—cards, toasts, compliments, someone noticing.
But what if your transformation didn’t depend on someone else
noticing?
What if the most powerful thing you could do was notice yourself?
And listen, I know some of you are already thinking,
“Eh, that’s not me. I don’t like the spotlight.”
Or,
“I’m too old to celebrate myself.”
Or even,
“I haven’t done enough yet to deserve a celebration.”
Now I want to gently challenge some of the thoughts that might be
coming up for you.
Because here’s the thing: birthdays are neutral.
They aren’t good or bad—they’re just dates on the calendar.
It’s what you think about them that creates your experience.
And here’s one thought I want to offer you:
Your birthday is the anniversary of the day you entered this world.
There was a time—you didn’t exist.
And now here you are. Still breathing. Still showing up. Still
growing.
Still doing the work of becoming the woman you want to be.
That’s not something small. That’s something worth honoring.
And yet, so many of the women I coach say they’re afraid of
aging… afraid of dying… afraid of “wasting time.”
But when it comes time to actually celebrate being alive—another
year of progress, wisdom, strength—they don’t want to do that
either.
They end up in this strange no-man’s-land:
Terrified of not existing… but unwilling to celebrate that they
do.
That used to be me.
I had this love-hate relationship with birthdays. I wanted them to
feel special… I wanted people to make me feel seen and
celebrated… and yet, no matter what happened, it never felt quite
like enough.
And here’s why:
For a long time, I didn’t know how to approve of myself.
I didn’t know how to like myself.
So I treated my birthday like a test—
A moment to collect love and validation from everyone else,
hoping it would make up for the love I didn’t know how to give
myself.
And when that external celebration didn’t match what I hoped for?
I spiraled. I made it mean I wasn’t important.
That I wasn’t loved. That I didn’t matter.
Because I didn’t know how to create that belief inside me.
And maybe you’ve felt something similar—not just about
birthdays, but about your body, your progress, your arms.
Maybe part of why you struggle to feel proud is because you’re
still waiting for someone else to give you permission.
But here’s the truth:
No one else can create the feeling of celebration or success
for you.
It has to come from your own thoughts about yourself.
Now for me, there was another layer to all of this.
Birthdays—like a lot of milestones in my life—became deeply tied
to a pattern that felt comforting in the moment, but didn’t actually
serve me: overeating.
For years, that was the default.
Birthday? Time to celebrate with food.
Big meal, dessert, maybe a weekend full of “It’s fine, it’s my
birthday.”
And listen, I told myself it was normal—“everyone does this.”
But deep down, I knew I was using it as a reward… and as a way
to check out.
So the first time I decided I didn’t want to keep living like
that—when I made the decision to start showing up as a woman
who honored her body and celebrated progress without
sabotaging it—my birthday came around, and I completely
panicked.
Because I didn’t know how to celebrate myself without food being
the main event.
And instead of facing that discomfort… I bailed.
I made up an excuse—a family obligation I had to attend.
I removed myself from the day.
Not because I didn’t care, but because I had no idea how to be
present without falling back into old patterns.
And here’s what’s wild:
I told myself I had to celebrate with food, that anything else would
feel empty or boring.
But the truth is, I had years of birthdays before I ever connected
them to overeating.
My brain just couldn’t see that evidence, because I had rehearsed
the same habit so many times it felt like fact.
And that’s what I want you to know:
Just because something feels automatic doesn’t mean it’s right for
you.
And just because you’ve always done it one way doesn’t mean
you can’t do it differently now.
Eventually, I realized that avoiding the pattern wasn’t enough.
If I wanted to become the woman I envisioned—calm, confident,
strong, present—I had to learn how to celebrate from that place.
I had to stop outsourcing joy to food.
Stop using the day as an excuse to disconnect.
And instead, start asking: What would feel like a celebration to the
version of me I’m becoming?
The first time I truly practiced this, it looked nothing like a big
party.
I had no plan, no dinner reservation, no elaborate treat.
I simply took the day off and told myself,
“You don’t need to earn this. You don’t need to escape it. Just be
with yourself today.”
And for the first time, I didn’t end the day feeling regret.
I ended it feeling proud.
Because I didn’t check out—I showed up. And that was
everything.
Now, that year, I was using something that ended up being a
surprisingly powerful part of this whole shift.
It wasn’t anything fancy—it was just a guided journal I had picked
up called The 5-Minute Morning Mindset.
It had a daily prompt, a quote, a space to reflect on what I was
grateful for, and a few lines to set my intention for the day.
At the time, I was trying to build a new kind of morning
routine—one that didn’t revolve around rushing, reacting, or
obsessing over the scale.
So every morning, I’d make myself a cup of coffee, sit down, and
spend five minutes writing.
Sometimes it felt silly, like, what is this even doing?
But over time, I realized: this small habit was teaching me how to
be present with myself.
So on my birthday that year—just like I had the 25 mornings
before it—I woke up, made my coffee, and opened my journal.
And the prompt for that day said:
“What have you done this year that you never thought you
could?”
That one question hit me hard.
Because I had been so focused on what I hadn’t done yet—how
far I had to go, the areas I still wanted to fix or improve or
perfect—
That I hadn’t stopped to notice:
I was changing. I was following through. I was showing up for
myself in ways I never had before.
I hadn’t spent the year numbing out. I hadn’t abandoned my
goals.
I had actually started to become the kind of woman I used to
envy—
The one who followed through on her workouts.
Who didn’t spiral after a treat.
Who could say “enough” without drama or punishment.
Who was learning how to feel proud without needing anyone else
to clap for her.
And I just sat there for a minute, holding that truth.
No distractions. No big celebration. Just me, present with myself.
And in that moment, I realized:
This—this—is what it means to celebrate a birthday from the
inside out.
The only thing I planned that day was to take the day off.
No appointments. No distractions. Just a full, open day.
And I asked myself one simple question:
“How can I celebrate me today?”
Not by earning it. Not by proving something.
But by honoring what I genuinely wanted—how I wanted to feel,
move, rest, reflect.
That whole day was led by something I hadn’t practiced much
before:
Desire. Whim. Self-connection.
And I remember thinking,
“Oh… this is what celebrating yourself can feel like. It doesn’t
have to involve anyone else.”
It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t flashy.
But for the first time, it wasn’t about collecting approval or waiting
for someone else to make me feel loved.
It was about me learning how to do that for myself.
And that birthday changed something in me.
Because I realized: I don’t need permission to feel proud.
I don’t need applause to validate my progress.
I don’t even need a special occasion to create a moment that
feels meaningful.
That shift—from looking outward for celebration to looking
inward—is one of the most important skills I’ve ever built.
And let me tell you: most women don’t know how to do this.
Especially if, like me, you’ve spent most of your life trying to earn
your worth through doing, achieving, performing, or making
everyone else happy.
You start to realize that birthdays—or any moment meant to feel
special—become these quiet tests:
“Will someone show me that I matter? Will someone prove I’m
enough?”
And here’s the truth:
You don’t have to wait for your birthday to stop living that way.
You can start now—today—by asking yourself:
“What would it look like to celebrate myself in small ways?”
Not with food. Not with skipping your workout. But with presence.
With kindness. With actual attention to what feels aligned.
Would you make a beautiful meal just for yourself?
Would you go for a walk in silence and soak in the morning light?
Would you write a letter to your future self or gift yourself an
experience instead of a thing?
And if that sounds unfamiliar or even uncomfortable, you’re not
alone.
This kind of self-approval isn’t something most of us were taught.
It takes practice. It takes slowing down enough to hear your own
voice beneath all the noise.
But the more you do it, the clearer that inner compass becomes.
And the more you’ll start building your habits—not from pressure
or punishment—but from respect for the woman you’re becoming.
So here’s what I want to offer you:
Take all of that care and thoughtfulness you’d pour into
celebrating someone you love—and try redirecting just a little of
that toward yourself.
Now, I’m not saying it won’t feel awkward at first.
It probably will.
You might hear that little voice saying,
“Isn’t this selfish?”
“Isn’t this what other people are supposed to do for me?”
And if that voice comes up—don’t make it a problem. It’s normal.
But also ask yourself:
Do I want to keep relying on other people to make me feel
proud?
Or do I want to learn how to give that to myself?
Because that’s what we’re doing here—not just in birthdays, but in
everyday choices.
We’re learning how to honor our bodies.
How to keep our promises.
How to create joy and strength from within.
And that skill? That’s what changes everything.
Not the scale. Not someone else noticing.
You noticing. You showing up. You saying,
“Hey, I like who I’m becoming.”
That birthday transformed me.
Not because I had a perfect day. Not because I earned a reward.
But because I finally understood that I didn’t need permission to
be proud.
I didn’t need to reward myself with food.
I didn’t need to be the old version of me anymore.
I just needed to tune back in.
And that’s what I want for you.
So ask yourself:
How often do I celebrate myself versus waiting for someone
else to do it?
And if that balance is off—that’s okay. That’s not a failure.
That’s information. It’s a starting point.
Because celebrating yourself starts by tuning in.
And let’s be honest—so many of the old patterns we’re breaking?
They were all about tuning out.
This work—this habit of paying attention, honoring your effort,
celebrating your consistency—it will change your life.
It changed mine.
So as we wrap up, I want you to think about just one small thing
you can do this week to celebrate yourself.
Not because you’ve earned it.
But because you’re learning how to live as a woman who follows
through.
That’s it for today, my friends.
Thanks for listening—and I’ll see you next week.
