Episode Transcript
If you’re anything like me,
I’ll bet you’ve
procrastinated a time or
two in your life. And I’ll
also bet that even with
something you want very,
very much, there are
some things that you
procrastinate on. Why do
you do this? Why do you
put off something you
know would benefit you,
and possibly even change
your life? Well, it turns out
that there are several
good reasons. But there
are also several remedies
for your procrastination.
And that’s what we’re
talking about today.
Hi, everybody, and
welcome to The Arm
Coach podcast, episode
#24.
Welcome back! Thank
you so much for joining
me. Today, we're going to
talk all about your habit of
procrastination and how it
may be getting in the way
of your arm sculpting
goals. I have some really
helpful ideas and
perspectives to share
with you today. So let's
dive in.
First, let's just define
procrastination because I
think if you're listening to
me, you probably have
done this. And you
probably do it in more
than one area of your life.
So you know when you
have something that you
need to do, but you avoid
it. That's procrastination.
Where there may be
something that you want
to do, you know you
should do it now, but you
keep putting it off and
putting it off. So either we
consciously avoid it or we
try to get ourselves to do
it, but we just can't seem
to do it. So related to
sculpting our arms, let’s
just say that you make a
decision that you want to
start planning your meals,
because it will make your
life easier. But you can't
seem to think ahead of
time and figure out what it
will take to get yourself to
do that. Let's say that you
know you want to eat
more protein in general,
but you're not taking the
time to sit down and plan,
because it doesn't sound
appealing. It doesn't
sound exciting. There
doesn't seem to be any
high motivation to do it.
So you don’t. You
procrastinate. Let's say
that you have the idea
that you want to start
lifting weights after
dinner, but when it comes
time to do it, you simply
tell yourself that you're
just not in the mood. So
you avoid it. You
procrastinate. You do
something else instead or
you do nothing else, but
you don't do what you
intend to do. Well, this
can have a big effect in
any area of your life that
you procrastinate in, but
we're going to talk
particularly today about
the effect that it might
have on your arms, and
your weight. So, if you
find that you keep making
a plan, and not following
it, clearly you're
procrastinating. And you
know this. And if you hear
yourself saying again and
again, ‘Oh it's too late, I
blew it, I'm just gonna
start Monday’, you've
heard me use that
example many times, but
that is the most common
form that we use to
procrastinate something
we should be doing now,
but we put off into the
fantasy of Monday. You
do that because you think
that you will be more in
the mood on Monday. But
what happens then is you
have the same thought
habit. So when Monday
comes, you're still going
to have the same thought
of, ‘Now's not the time.
I'm not quite ready, I'll
just do it next Monday’.
Until you begin to hear
yourself, and it feels so
uncomfortable, that you
want to do something
else instead. In order to
make a change in how
you exercise and eat and
how you take care of
yourself, you need to
create a plan. But even
doing the plan takes time
and action and effort and
a commitment. And you
may find that it seems like
there are 100 other more
appealing things to do
than plan workouts, plan
your food, and make a
shopping list, and cut up
veggies in the moment.
You may rebel and put off
looking at your calendar
to see what's coming up
for you for the week, and
instead just decide to go
with the flow and, you
know, be cozy and watch
TV until late into the
evening. And then the
week rises up to meet
you, and you're not ready.
The pleasure that you get
from watching TV or just
chilling, or playing on the
computer, the pleasure
you get from doing those
things right now, it seems
that it's bigger than the
pleasure that you will get
in a few days. When you
wake up and all your food
is ready to go, your meals
are loosely planned, your
workout clothes are laid
out and ready to go, and
your calendar is filled with
nice things that you're
going to do for yourself.
It's hard for you to feel
the future pleasure in the
moment when you're
required to do something.
So, there's also feelings
that come to us that we
create when we
procrastinate. When we
procrastinate, usually it's
a pattern, as I said, in
different areas of your life,
but the result of it is that
we feel defeated. Even
though we're doing it to
ourselves, we feel
defeated when we do. We
feel hopeless. You may
have felt guilt at doing it.
And you may have felt
unmotivated. Until
something happens that
wakes you up, like a
health scare or some
sudden eye opening
event, that makes you
wake up and say ‘okay, I
can't procrastinate
anymore. I have to do
something about this’.
Where does it come
from? You may not care
about a goal as much as
you think you do. You
may not care about a
project that you're trying
to get yourself to do. Or
maybe you care about it,
but you still find yourself
ending up doing
something else. It all
starts with a choice that
you make all the time.
And that choice is ‘do I
do something right now,
or do I not do it at all, or
do I do something else
instead’. If you think
something is hard, then
it's normal to choose to
work on something easier
instead. That is
something to overcome.
Sculpting your arms, it’s
hard, but only to begin
with. Only because it's
new. And anything you do
that's new, requires more
effort in the beginning. If
you're trying to get
yourself to do a new
thing, like lift weights or
plan and prep your food,
if this isn't something that
you usually do, your mind
isn't naturally going to
want to dive in and tackle
it. Your mind is going to
look for something easier
and more familiar to do.
But now that we're talking
about it, step back and
realize that what you've
always done, has given
you the results that you're
not so happy with. And
that's why together, you
and I, are going to tackle
why we resort to
procrastination.
So, there are feelings that
you create, that can
cause you to be more
likely to procrastinate.
When you procrastinate,
you get temporary relief,
because you're not doing
what's hard, what you
were trying to get yourself
to do. But after that
temporary relief wears off,
it doesn't usually feel so
good. You do it in the
moment because you
determine how much
value that thing has to
you, that thing that you're
trying to get yourself to
do. So the value of doing
something different
outweighs what you're
trying to get yourself to
do. And that comes from
you placing more value
on getting something else
right now, than on waiting
for the future, to get what
you really want. And this
is kind of a catch 22.
Because since changing
your exercise and eating
habits takes time, your
results are not going to be
immediate, at least not
that you can measure in
your clothing size, or on
the scale. So typically
you'd rather take the
immediate reward of
Netflix or that Snickers
bar, than the future
reward of sculpting your
arms, and eventually
changing your self
esteem. It takes time to
see what we get when
you work on lifting
weights and following
your nutrition formula.
The future reward to you,
the benefit, is worth less
than what you can get or
do right now. That's what
you need to acknowledge
before you can change
the habit of
procrastination. To really
be honest with yourself,
and ask yourself why
you're doing it. Why do
you keep giving in?
So the first step is to
recognize it as a habit
that you have, and to plot
out how you can
overcome this habit. So
here's what I want you to
look at first. Do you keep
setting the same goals,
over and over again? If
you are anything like all
the women I work with,
privately and in groups,
you may feel like you're
stuck on a treadmill of
continually setting a new
goal for yourself, and
continually not getting
yourself to do it. It's not
even that you're failing.
It's that you're not getting
yourself to do what you
want to do. And it's very
frustrating to not be able
to get traction and get
some momentum going.
So when we keep trying,
over and over again,
you're trying to trick
yourself into getting
something done without
uncovering what's
holding you back. So ask
yourself, what are the
things you hear yourself
saying over and over
again, that leads you to
procrastinate doing what
you need to do. Is it, ‘I'm
too tired’. Is it ‘I'll do it
tomorrow’, or is it, ‘Oh,
it's not such a big deal’.
Is it ‘I don't care that
much any way’, is it, ‘it's
not worth it, because it
will never work and I'll
never be successful’.
Catch yourself saying
your favorite
procrastination thoughts,
and then recognize them
and jump in and dispute
them. Notice the things
you typically do when you
procrastinate whatever it
is, whether it's eating or
taking care of yourself or
lifting weights, start to
notice the things that you
do when you need to
make exercise or eating
changes. And let those
things be like a wake up
call. If you typically surf
the internet or go deep on
Facebook, or you
suddenly have this
overwhelming desire to
get on the floor and play
with your dog, or
suddenly go through
every email that comes in
the mail to you, these are
like little signals that you
are heading into your
procrastination habit. And
I want you to catch
yourself doing them and
not be upset, and not be
angry at yourself. That's
the first step, is just
catching yourself, non
judgmentally, and pausing
and seeing that it's just a
habit. Whatever you do to
avoid doing what you
really want to do, is a
habit. And that habit
comes from the thoughts
that you think, over and
over again. In order to get
motivated to take
different actions, you
need to feel differently.
Because, remember,
there’s a circumstance,
and that creates our
thoughts, our thoughts
create our feelings and
our feelings are what lead
us to take action, or not
to take action. So if you
are continually taking
action that smacks of
procrastination, I want
you to look at what the
feeling is you have right
before you either decide
not to do something, or
try to do an avoidance
activity, instead of what
you know you should be
doing. And then ask
yourself, ‘What feeling do
you need to feel to do it?.
Especially if it's
something different than
you're used to doing. One
of my coaches always
tells me, it will only be this
hard once. Whenever I'm
getting myself to do
something new, and I'm
rebelling against it and I
want to procrastinate,
and I suddenly think of all
the drawers and closets
in my house that I
suddenly need to clean
out. And I'm doing that
because it feels hard. So
it's hard because it's new.
But hard isn't bad. We're
so used to thinking, if
something is hard, it
should be avoided at all
costs. Hard just means
something that you don't
know yet. And your
typical thought is,
unconsciously and very
quickly, ‘I don't feel like
putting the effort into it’.
And I have felt that way
too! But I know that if I
do, over and over, it will
get me over that hump of
effort. And eventually, it
will become a newer,
easier habit.
There’s a lot of things that
you can do to overcome
your procrastination. The
first one is going to be
what we just talked
about, and that is
recognizing it.
Recognizing it as you
start to go into it. And
remember that some
people start
procrastination at the
start, when they try to get
themselves to do
something in the
beginning. Maybe you
procrastinate in sticking
to something in the
middle and getting over
that challenging middle.
Or maybe you
procrastinate in sticking
with it long enough to
finish it. Sometimes also
you may read about
doing something, you
may think about doing
something, you get
yourself excited, but
you're not actually doing
it. And sometimes you
may kid yourself and feel
like you're putting a lot of
effort into something just
because you're thinking
about it. But you're still
not doing it. So, uncover
your procrastination
habit, and then let's look
at concrete ways that you
can get yourself out of it.
So number one, look at
what you want to do.
Look at your really big
picture goal. Your big
picture goal is not to
sculpt your arms. Your big
picture goal is to figure
out why you don’t lift
weights and you overeat
in the first place, and
stop. And the result of
that will be that you can
sculpt your arms to be
beautiful and sexy. So the
big picture goal is one
thing, and then there’s a
short term goal. And the
short term goal may be
for you, that you need to
be aware at the next
meal, and truly pay
attention to your hunger
when you start and when
you stop eating. Another
way to overcome the
procrastination habit is to
tell other people what
you're trying to do. Make
it public. Acknowledge
that you're struggling with
something, and even if
you don't ask for help, let
people know what you're
doing so that you're not
hiding behind the
procrastination habit, and
really getting nowhere
and beating yourself up.
And another option, of
course, is to get help.
And that's exactly what I
do with people, is help
them see what they're not
able to see for
themselves. When you're
trying to achieve a goal
like this goal, like
stopping your
procrastination, don’t
make it all work. Make
your life a mix of work
and play. Do some work
on the goal. Find ways to
make it fun. Try to give
yourself rewards for
getting tiny little steps
done that you didn't do
before. Maybe, this works
for some people, it may
appeal to you or not, but
you can track what you're
doing. You can track how
often you get yourself to
do what you want to do.
And that way you can
also see when you don’t,
and when you backslide,
what's happening. What
was the reason? Learn
from it. Remember our
expression, failing
forward, where you may
fall down, but you're
going to learn from it.
Look at your calendar, put
your steps into a calendar
and prioritize it. If you are
last on the list in
everything you do every
day, then taking steps to
change anything in your
life, they're going to be
last on the list too. And
last on the list gets the
least of your energy, the
least of your focus, the
least of your intelligence.
In other words, it's not
going to happen. So
making it a priority,
literally, do that. And then
if you fall down, and you
will, you definitely will fall
down, I want you not to
generalize. I want you to
simply look at it as this is
one instance where I
made this effort, and I
wasn't able to complete it
as well as I liked. But I'm
going to pick myself back
up and keep going. And
go back to figuring out
what you could learn from
it. But don't generalize.
Don't do that to yourself,
where you might say, ‘it's
just not meant to be for
me. See, I failed and I just
can't do it’. You know our
motto, if anyone in the
world can do this, you
can too. Procrastination is
a huge subject. We're
going to come back to it
several times. But I want
to give you a challenge. I
want you to take a look at
what you're trying to do,
and pick the tiniest little
thing out of there, that
you would like to take a
step forward on, that you
haven't been able to get
yourself to do. And I want
you to set yourself up for
success. Visualize how
you're going to do it.
Think about what
obstacles will come up
for you. And do it. You’ve
got this!
So that's it for now! I’ll
see you all next week!
