Episode Transcript
Hey there — today we’re talking about something that might surprise you: how the
words you use and the way you describe your urges could be the very thing making
your arm journey harder. I’m going to show you how tiny shifts in language can
completely change how you feel, how you show up, and ultimately, how toned and
strong your arms become. Trust me, you do not want to skip this — let’s dive in.
Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 73! How are you doing?
Today we’re diving into one of my absolute favorite topics — the way our brains take
things in our environment that are totally intangible and somehow make them tangible.
It’s honestly fascinating, and there’s so much here that can shift the way you think about
toning your arms, your habits, and even how you show up for yourself day after day.
You know, so much of what I talk to all of you about is your emotions, your urges, those
automatic thoughts and cravings — all these things you can’t literally see or touch.
They’re intangible, right? And because of that, they often feel mysterious, slippery, or
even out of your control. But here’s the thing: humans don’t love mystery. We have this
deep drive to understand. We want to label things, explain them, figure them out. That’s
actually one of the amazing things about language — it helps us take the unknown and
make it known. It helps us take something intangible, like your desire to skip a workout
or overeat after a stressful day, and put words around it so it’s not this giant foggy cloud
anymore.
Now, growing up, my grandmother was actually my elementary school teacher. Wild,
right? So language, stories, and learning were literally baked into my everyday life. She
had such a precise way of teaching us — all the rules, the spelling, the grammar, what
was “right” and what was “wrong.” But fun fact? The very first poet she introduced me to
was E. E. Cummings, who pretty much ignored every grammar rule that ever existed.
His punctuation is all over the place, his spacing and line breaks are chaotic, and he
doesn’t even capitalize his own name. And still, she loved his work — which kind of
cracked me up because it went against everything else she taught.
So being the granddaughter (and student!) of an elementary school teacher was both a
blessing and, let’s be honest, a tiny curse. On one hand, I always had someone who
could answer any question I had about language. On the other, I kinda never bothered
to learn it myself because I could just ask her!
Now, when I realized we’d be talking today about metaphors — and how to actually use
them to change the way you think about your arms, your workouts, your consistency —
I had this little moment of panic, like, “Wait, is this a metaphor or a simile?” Because
here’s the deal: technically, a metaphor states a direct comparison, like “toning your
arms is a journey,” while a simile uses “like” or “as,” like “my journey to toned arms is
like climbing a hill.” But honestly? For our purposes, it doesn’t matter. What matters is
that you start using comparisons to make sense of things that feel vague and fuzzy right
now.
Because here’s what I want you to see: the language you use to describe your arm
journey — your habits, your urges to skip a workout, your thoughts about discipline — it
can either empower you or completely hold you back. So we’re going to pay attention to
that. We’re going to start using language intentionally, so you can turn the unknown into
something known, and the intangible into something you can actually work with.
So here’s the thing. The think-feel-act cycle — this is at the core of everything I teach
inside Arms By Kristine. Your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings drive your
actions. That means if you want toned, sculpted arms (or honestly, any kind of lasting
change), you have to start by paying attention to your thoughts. You have to notice the
words and language you’re using with yourself every single day.
Because remember, your thoughts are just sentences in your mind. That’s it. They’re
built out of language. So the way you’re making the unknown known — by choosing
certain words, certain comparisons, certain stories — that is going to shape how you
feel. And how you feel is going to shape what you do next. Whether you skip your
workout or show up. Whether you give in to that all-or-nothing thinking or keep going.
Whether you build self-trust or keep breaking promises to yourself.
I love teaching my clients to look at this. Because most of us were never taught how to
describe what we’re feeling — let alone how that translates into action. Think about it:
growing up, did anyone ever pull you aside and say, “Hey, let me explain what’s actually
happening in your body when you feel an emotion. Your heart speeds up. Your
breathing changes. Your muscles tense or soften. Hormones start flooding your system.
Your digestion shifts. Your nervous system lights up.”
No one teaches us that. So we feel these physical changes and we’re like, “Whoa,
something must be wrong.” Imagine being a little kid, feeling your heart pound or your
stomach drop, and not understanding it’s all perfectly normal.
That’s why humans reach for metaphors. We say we’ve got butterflies in our stomach,
or we’re carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. It’s how we make sense of
something that otherwise feels confusing or even scary. And for so many women I
coach, it’s also why we default to dramatic stories like, “I’ve totally blown it,” or “This is
just too hard for me.” Because those metaphors — even the unhelpful ones — give
shape to something we don’t fully understand.
Inside Arms By Kristine, I teach you how to clean this up. How to choose language that
actually helps you — so you can turn all those mysterious urges and emotions into
something known and manageable. That’s when everything changes. Because once
you start using words that serve you, your feelings shift. And when your feelings shift,
your actions follow. That’s how you build the habits that lead to strong, toned arms —
and the kind of woman who keeps her promises to herself.
Now here’s the problem. Sometimes metaphors can actually be pretty unhelpful —
especially when you’re first learning how to navigate your emotions on this journey to
stronger, more sculpted arms. I see this all the time inside Arms By Kristine. When
women start doing this work, they often default to using really intense or dramatic
metaphors to describe how they feel.
Now, not all metaphors are bad. But some of them absolutely can work against you,
especially when it comes to describing your emotions.
I was coaching one of my clients recently, and we were exploring her feelings of anxiety.
We’d identified that anxiety was what she was experiencing, and from there, one of the
main things I teach is to focus on what’s actually happening in your body. Because until
you understand that, it’s so easy to keep telling yourself, “I can’t handle this,” or “This is
too much,” or “I just want to escape.”
Most people never pause to question that. They’re just like, “Why would I want to feel
anxiety? It’s terrible!” And if you asked your girlfriends, most of them would say the
same — like, “Of course we don’t want to feel anxious!” Because we’re taught that
negative emotions mean something’s gone wrong.
But inside Arms By Kristine, we flip that script. We start to get super curious. We look at,
“What exactly are you moving away from? Why do you believe you can’t stay with this
feeling for even a minute longer? Why does your brain rush to numb out or distract with
food, wine, skipping the workout — anything but feeling it?” When you get specific about
the physical sensations tied to your emotions, you begin to totally change the
conversation with yourself.
So with this client, I asked her, “What does anxiety actually feel like in your body?” And
because this was brand new for her, she reached for metaphor. She said, “It feels like I
have a ton of bricks on my chest and a vice grip on my forehead.”
And I mean, talk about vivid, right? (If you’ve never used a vice grip — they’re basically
adjustable pliers that clamp down and lock in place. Super pleasant to imagine on your
forehead, right?)
This is what I see so often. When you’re first trying to describe what’s happening inside
your body, your brain pulls up these really dramatic metaphors. Because in the moment,
it feels dramatic. But think about it: describing anxiety as “a ton of bricks crushing your
chest” or “a vice grip on your forehead” is a thought. It’s language. And that language
amps up the discomfort even more.
So the very words you’re using to try to understand your feelings can actually make
them feel worse — which is the exact opposite of what we want when we’re trying to
build better habits, show up for our workouts, or stay consistent with the things that
matter.
Instead, what I teach inside Arms By Kristine is how to move toward more neutral,
factual descriptions of what’s happening in your body. Because that’s how you keep
things manageable and grounded. It might sound like:
“My heart is beating faster.”
“My chest feels tight.”
“My jaw is clenched.”
“My stomach is fluttering.”
“My hands are cold.”
“There’s a light pressure on my forehead.”
Do you see the difference? When you describe what’s happening in simple, direct
terms, it doesn’t pile on extra fear or drama. It gives you something concrete to work
with. And that’s exactly how you start to build real resilience — not just in your mindset,
but in sticking with the small, daily actions that lead to the strong, toned arms you want.
Now listen — I get it. As I listed off those physical sensations just now, you might have
been thinking, “Kristine, none of that sounds great either.” But here’s what I want you to
notice: those descriptions were all neutral. No drama. No judgment.
There’s a huge difference between saying, “My chest feels tight and there’s pressure on
my forehead,” versus, “I have a ton of bricks on my chest and a vice grip on my
forehead.” One is simply observing. The other instantly ramps up your nervous system.
So I want you to really sit with this: the way you describe your experience matters. If
you’re already feeling something uncomfortable — maybe it’s anxiety, frustration, self-
doubt, boredom, or insecurity — and then you start using language that makes it sound
dangerous or unbearable, what do you think happens? You layer more negative
emotion on top of what you were already feeling.
That’s when I see women spiral. Not because of the original urge to skip a workout, or
overeat, or scroll Instagram instead of showing up for their arms — but because the
story they’re telling themselves about that urge becomes overwhelming.
That’s why inside Arms By Kristine, one of the first things I teach is how to slow down
and tune into the physical experience of emotion without judgment. This alone changes
the game. It helps you stop making your emotions the enemy and start working with
them instead of against them.
Now — to be clear — I am not anti-metaphor. When used well, metaphor can actually
be a powerful tool for shifting how you think and feel. In fact, I had a client recently who
gave the most brilliant example. She’s been practicing sitting with her urges instead of
reacting — which is a big focus inside the program — and she said to me, “It kind of
feels like wearing an itchy sweater.”
And I just loved that. Because who hasn’t been there, right? You try something on in the
store, it looks cute, seems fine. But then you wear it out in the real world and suddenly
it’s so uncomfortable — maybe it’s not even the sweater, maybe it’s just a scratchy tag.
It’s irritating, yes. You notice it. But you’re not ripping it off in the middle of your workday.
You don’t rush out to buy a new outfit. You deal with it.
And that was her point — the urge didn’t feel great, but she could tolerate it. It wasn’t
going to break her.
That one shift — from “I can’t take this, I hate this, make it stop” to “This isn’t my
favorite, but I can handle it” — is huge. It’s the difference between giving up and
following through. Between quitting on yourself and becoming the woman who shows
up no matter what.
So think about your urges that way — like an itchy sweater. You don’t love it, but it’s not
a crisis. You can still do your arm workout. You can still prep your food. You can still
follow your plan. And that’s what we practice inside Arms By Kristine — learning how to
build that calm resilience and stop making your discomfort mean that something’s
wrong.
Because nothing’s gone wrong. You’re just rewiring patterns that don’t serve you
anymore.
Do you see how this works? How you can actually compound your discomfort by using
unhelpful metaphors or dramatic language — telling yourself things like, “This is
unbearable, I can’t stand it,” when it’s really just an uncomfortable urge or feeling.
But when you choose a more helpful metaphor, something like, “My urge is kind of like
an itchy sweater,” suddenly that changes everything. It becomes less threatening, more
tolerable. Just that small shift in how you describe it can completely change how you
feel.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “Okay Kristine, but that metaphor doesn’t
land for me.” I had someone in Arms By Kristine say that to me recently. She was like,
“Yeah, but if it’s an itchy sweater, I can just take it off. I can’t take off my urge to skip my
workout or overeat. I can’t snap my fingers and make it disappear.”
And so I offered her a different example. I said, “Alright, what about uncomfortable
underwear?” I think we’ve all been there — you put on a pair in the morning, head out
the door, and halfway down the street you’re like, “Ugh, this was a bad choice. I am
never wearing these again.”
But realistically, what do you do? You get through your day. You deal with it. You’re not
sprinting into Target to buy a new pair. It’s mildly annoying, sure, but it’s not a crisis.
For her, that metaphor clicked. For someone else, it might be the itchy sweater. For you,
it might be something totally different. The point is to really pay attention to the language
you’re using. Is it helping? Is it making things feel smaller, more manageable — like,
“Yeah, this isn’t my favorite, but I can handle it”? Or are you making it feel bigger and
scarier, like telling yourself there’s a ton of bricks on your chest and a vice grip on your
forehead?
Because that kind of language doesn’t just describe what you’re feeling — it intensifies
it. It piles negative emotion on top of what was already uncomfortable. That’s why you
have to be intentional. Use metaphor wisely. Always pause and ask, “Is the way I’m
describing this making me feel calmer, more capable, more willing to stay with it? Or is it
making me feel even worse?”
It might sound small, but inside Arms By Kristine, this is one of the biggest mindset
shifts we work on. Because it’s not just semantics. It’s everything. The words you use
shape your thoughts, and your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings drive
your actions. That’s the think-feel-act cycle. It’s how you build trust with yourself. It’s
how you keep showing up and ultimately get those beautifully strong, toned arms — and
the unshakeable confidence that comes with them.
Alright ladies, that’s what I’ve got for you this week. I’ll see you next time!
