Episode Transcript
Welcome back for your
coaching session today.
So this episode is the
second part of a two part
series. We talked last
week about figuring ou
why you haven't been
able to tone your arms so
far. Turning backwards
and looking in that
rearview mirror, to figur
out the reasons, so that
you can create new steps
that take you where you
want to be, not where you
are today. So this is part
two, and what today’s
episode is about, is figur
out why you're not toning
your arms, by looking at
your patterns. So today
we're gonna focus all
about patterns. So get
comfortable. You're here
to be coached and I'm
here to coach you.
So let's continue with our
discussion from last
week, which was all
about why you have
unwanted fat and flab o
your arms in the firs
place, and why you
struggle to lose it. And we
talked a little bit about
breaking it down into the
tiniest little components
that were a part of what
got you here today, and
changing them so that
you could have a differen
result today. So what
we're saying essentially,
what I'm saying to you is,
no more secrets. Let's
shine the light on why
you're here. Because if
not, then what you're
going to be doing, which
you've probably done
before, is taking any plan
to tone up and lose
weight, and generically
applying it to yourself.
Well guess what? Generic
doesn't work. And the
way for any plan to work
for you, is to make it
totally personalized. The
way we're going to do
that is to look at exactly
what issues you've been
challenged by, and
change the way you
approach them. So keep
that in the front of your
mind right now.
Generalizing is not good.
Generic is not good.
Personalized.
Individualized. That's
what we're going for. I
want you to think about
patterns. Because
whether you realize it or
not, you have a lot of
different patterns in you
life. Patterns are the
habitual ways that you
think, and feel, and act,
over and over again. Our
goal today is to get at
your patterns and shine
that light on them, so we
could create a non
generic plan for you going
forward. You have
patterns. I have patterns.
Some of them help you,
and some of them hinder
you. You may have a
pattern of thinking that
you did something wrong
all the time, right? And
that has frequently been
one of my patterns. When
something in life goes
wrong, my frequent
thought is, or used to be,
‘what did I do’? That
means I have a pattern of
thinking constantly that I
must have done
something wrong. Or
maybe you have a pattern
of thinking that other
people know better than
you. Or another really
common one is, maybe
you have a pattern of
thinking that you never
have enough. That also
was my personal favorite.
Not a feel good one, but it
was the one that I went to
often. So these are
thought patterns right?
Your brain is wired to let
you repeat things that you
do over and over again
really efficiently. So if y
get the slightest inkling
that it's not fair that other
people have toned arms
and you don’t, your
brains gonna go right on
the job of creating a
pattern of thinking that
there's never enough.
And you may always feel
deprived. And if you do
feel deprived a lot and
you wonder why, that
may very well be one of
your patterns. Now the
thoughts that you have on
a regular basis, if you've
been listening to me for a
little while, you know that
your thoughts lead you to
a certain emotion. And
your emotions, lead you
to doing things, taking
action. So the thoughts
that you have on a regular
basis, they create your
life. When you think
something over and over
again, it becomes a habit
or a pattern, and you just
don't question it. It just is.
Eventually these thought
patterns give you your
life, your body, your
weight, everything. So
you may have some
patterns of thinking
something. You may also
have patterns of feeling a
certain way. When you're
alone, maybe you're in a
pattern of feeling lonely.
So if someone cancels
plans to be with you, you
probably go right into
your pattern of feeling
lonely. And being alone
really has nothing to do
with the feeling of
loneliness. That's
optional. When you fall o
the wagon from the
fitness path that you'r
on, you may go right into
the pattern of feeling
hopeless, and believing
that something's wrong
with you. Of course you
know by now that you
also could have a pattern
of behavior. How you act.
What you do. A perfect
example of a pattern of
thought and behavior, is
when you tell yourself, ‘I
can’t eat just one of
these’. And when you
have one potato chip for
example, you may
continue on to finish th
bag. It's not because of
the old commercial from
Lay's potato chips, ‘bet
you can’t eat just one’. If
you're old enough to
remember that. That's not
the only reason. But that
is like a thought, that that
commercial plants in your
head. It's the thought that
maybe you can’t eat just
one. That's what causes
the behavior. That's a
pattern. So the good
news is that your brain
created all your patterns
as a way of making your
life easier and more
efficient. Your bra
doesn't really think or
know the consequences
of the patterns that it's
helping you create.
There's simply like an
alarm clock that you set
to go off at a certain time
and it's going to keep
doing it, whether it's
helpful or not. So to
change your patterns,
which you'll need to do to
get a different result, yo
have to first becom
aware of what your
patterns are.
I want you to begin
thinking of things that
you've done on a regular
basis, as you've searched
for ways to tone and
sculpt your arms. What
are your habitual thoughts
that lead you to not lift
weights or overeat? What
are your habitual feelings
that have you reaching for
the remote or chips? And
what actions do you take
on a regular basis that
keep you from ever
reaching your goals?
Since you created your
patterns, I want you to be
assured that if anyone
can change them, you
can. And the first step i
really exploring what
these patterns are. So
we're going to shine the
light on them, to make
sure that they're not
going to be controlling
you, by being
unconscious. We're going
to make them conscious.
We're gonna put your
awareness on them, and
they will not be able to
secretly sabotage your
arm toning effort
anymore. Because you
will be in charge. You’re
the boss.
So the first question
want you to ask, and
these are going to be four
questions. Let's look at
the four questions first
The first question is, Wha
have you been doing
right? And what have you
been doing a little bit of,
that you wish you were
doing more of? What
have you been doing that
you'd love to stop doing?
And what have you been
doing that you'd like to do
less of? So let's look at all
of them together. If you
want to tone your arms
and lose some extra fat
and flab, do you still thin
that everything you did
didn't work? Are you
lumping everything
together? Are you telling
yourself you did
everything wrong?
Because before we go
into looking at a pattern,
let's look at that big,
overarching belief. The
reality is that you
probably did some things
well. And you did some
things that you may want
to change, and some
things that you may want
to eliminate. But it's not
helpful to lump everything
together and just assume
that you can't do it, and
you can't do anything
right. It's just not true. So
let's stop putting
everything together and
going black and white.
Let's separate the fact
from the fiction. Som
things you did well. Some
things you did and you
need to do more of. And
some things you want to
do less of. It's a mixture.
We're going to create
your own secret formula
for achieving beautifully
toned arms.
So let's think back over
the last few years. The
first question is, Wha
have you been able to do
that was helpful? When I
coach my women, and
occasional men, one on
one, the very firs
question I ask them is,
What's going well for
you? What are you doing
right? What do you feel
good about? The reason I
do this, and the reason
I'm asking you this right
now, is that if you're
anything like everyone I
work with, you do some
things right, definitely. Bu
then you just dismiss
them, and you put your
focus on anything and
everything that you're not
doing well. And I want
you to train yourself to
focus on what is good,
and what you are doing
right. Because that's what
you want more of. And
when you think
something that makes
you feel good, and it
makes you feel proud,
that good and proud and
confident feeling, lead
you to take the next step.
And make it be a good
action instead of
something that feels kind
of ho hum, because you
think you're doing
everything wrong. So
here's an example. Let's
just say that I asked you
what's going well for you.
And one of the things is,
maybe you were really
good at planning your
week, scheduling your
workouts and making
sure that you had good
things to eat that were
ready, and prepped, and
available. Maybe you
were good at bringing
delicious lunches to work,
and making dates to work
out with friends. Now it
could be 100 differen
things. That's just an
example. But I want you
to take a minute right now
and think. What is going
well? What am I doing
right? What do I feel
proud of? And
acknowledge it. And give
yourself a pat on the back
for what is going well.
Now the next thing I want
you to look at in your
patterns is, what did you
do a little bit of, that you
know you could do more
of? So you're dipping
your toe in the water,
you're doing some things
good, but you know that
if you did more of them, it
would be even better. So
here's an example that I
hear. Maybe you might be
thinking that you'd like to
be a little more
adventurous, and cook a
little bit, and prepare
some different foods. I
you tend to get bored,
eating the same thing and
cooking the same thing,
or buying the same thing
every week, you know
that if you varied it, it
would be easier to stick
to. Another example that
you might relate to, is you
might think that you want
to make more time for
yourself. Because even if
I tell you exactly what to
do, you still do need to
take time to think about it.
To read, to write, to listen,
And just to reflect on you
life. It takes a space in
between doing and doing
and doing, to plan what's
going to happen next,
and not just let it happen
by default. So when I
asked you, What have
you been doing a little of,
that you know you could
do more of, those are
things that come under
that category.
Now the third question is,
What have you been
doing that you'd love to
stop doing? And here's a
big one that we mostly
spend all of our time
focusing on. But let's just
acknowledge it.
I want you to think, "What’s
the biggest thing I struggle
with when it comes to toning
my arms? What do I wish I
could stop doing?" Maybe
you wish you could stop
skipping your arm workouts
because you feel too tired or
overwhelmed. Or perhaps
you struggle with
inconsistency, starting strong
but giving up after a week or
two when progress feels
slow. Maybe you catch
yourself avoiding exercises
altogether because you doubt
they’ll work, or you wish
you could stop making
excuses like "I’ll start
tomorrow." Think about
what you’d truly love to stop
doing that's holding you
back from achieving the
toned arms you want. We're
going to break down those
behaviors and make a
specific plan just for yo
Now, the last question is:
What have you been doing
that you’d like to do less of
when it comes to toning your
arms? We’re not focusing on
cutting it out entirely or
being all-or-nothing, but
instead becoming more
aware. Take a moment to
reflect and ask yourself
"What am I doing that’s just
not helping me achieve
toned arms?" For example,
do you want to do less
skipping your arm exercises
because you’re too busy or
distracted? Maybe you tend
to let others’ opinions
discourage you, like
skipping a workout because
someone said toning arms at
your age isn’t worth it. Or
perhaps you’d like to stop
avoiding strength exercises
because they feel hard, and
you convince yourself they
don’t matter. When you start
thinking, "This is too much
effort," or feel tempted to
give up, that’s when old
habits can creep in and hold
you back. Let’s pinpoint
those behaviors so we can
work on reducing them step
by step.
So by answering these
four questions, like the
examples that we just
talked about, what you're
doing is you're plotting
your new roadmap, using
your patterns from your
past efforts. And that i
really different, and reall
more important, than
following a generic fitnes
plan. Because what
you're doing now is
you're creating a road
map. You are acting as
your own GPS system.
And you need to clearly
program yourself, of
where you want to go and
why. And you need to
start somewhere. You
need to know where
you're starting, and know
where you want to go.
And the cool thing is, is
you know your
roadblocks. Your
patterns. You know your
potholes. Your patterns.
And you know the
detours that you're going
to take.
So now you're going to
focus on making a
personalized plan for you.
No more generic. Get
clear on your patterns.
And make specific step
that you're going to take.
Your three main focuses
are your body, your mind
and your self care. Your
body, when to start
eating, what to eat, when
to stop eating. Break it
down. Moving your body.
Do you move it at all? Do
you need to lifting
weights? Do you want to?
What will you do? Your
mind. What are thinking
that's creating your
feelings? What have you
been thinking for years
that have hardened into
beliefs? And how do
those thoughts and
beliefs lead you to take
actions that are not
always in your favor? And
your self care, which
simply means are you
taking care of your needs.
Do you know what your
needs are? Do you know
what your non negotiable
needs are? And have you
found a way to give them
to yourself, no matter
what? That is your goal.
And you are totally able to
do this.
So, you have your focus. I
want to hear how you're
doing. And this is where
we start. This is where I
want you to look at what
went wrong in your past,
when you try to solve
your arm fat and fla
issues, because I don't
want you to keep
repeating the same
mistakes over and over
again. I want to hear from
you and I hope to see you
back here next week!
