Episode Transcript
Hi Friends! I'm your certifie
weight loss coach, Kristine
Rucker. If you just found me, I
want to welcome you. And if
you're a regular listener,
Welcome back, I’m really,
really glad you're here.
Here's what we're going to
talk about today. This
episode is all about figurin
out why you have unwanted
fat and flab on your arms i
the first place. And this is par
of a two part series with next
week, where we're going to
take a good look at the
patterns that you've had.
Because the patterns that
you've had, and all the things
you've done to bring you to
where you are today, have
created the arms that you
want to change. I know why
you're here. I know what you
want. And if we just make a
plan to look at what you want
different in your life, withou
taking a quick look
backwards and seeing how
you got here, and what you're
doing, and why this
unwanted fat and flab is s
hard to get rid of, then it's
kind of a doomed effort
where even if you managed
to hold on tight and struggle
and lose that extra fat and
flab today, if you don't tak
care of the reasons it came in
the first place, those reason
will just be sitting in the
wings. Literally. Waiting until a
stressful moment in your life.
And they will pop back into
action, and that fat and fla
will come back. So that's
what we're going to cover
today.
Think about this. What do
you want to be different i
your life? Now many of you
are here because of the state
of your arms. And I know
you. You've written to me
many times. You've written
about habits that you want to
change, your weight, the size
of your body, your health,
your self esteem. All the
different things that you'd lik
to be different. But in order t
make them different, we'r
going to spend some time
today and next week, talking
together about why they exist
in the first place. We can’
just take a plan, and make up
a plan, make up steps for you
to follow, and expect that you
will just do them and that will
be the end of it. That is the
reason most programs don't
work. That is the reason most
eating plans don't work. And
that is the whole purpose of
my program, Arms By
Kristine. It's really important
to figure out why you hav
failed. Not to make you feel
bad, but if anything, to make
you feel good. So that you
totally understand what's
happening, why it happened,
so that you can do different
If you don't know what
you've been doing, it’s hard
to impossible to make a
change. So I don't want you
to keep chasing results. I
want you to see what you did
to get here, but not in a
blaming way, not in a beating
way. Let's think about it like
this. If x equals right now,
your life right now, your body
right now, your weight right
now, then A plus B plus C
plus D equals X. All the things
that you've done up to this
point, equals the result that
you have today. So the way
that you've eaten, the way
that you've moved your body
or not, the way that you've
dealt with stress, the way that
you've dealt with bad moods,
the way that you've dealt with
feeling entitled or feeling
deprived, the way that you
have or have not taken care
of yourself. All of those things
add up to you today. And
this, believe it or not, is the
really good news. Because if
you could break it down and
look at where you are today,
including your arms and your
weight, and then go
backwards, and say ‘how did
I get here’, then what we can
do together, is take each one
of those elements that add
up to today, the A B C and D,
and so on that equal today,
and backup and see what
changes you're going to
make. So that going forward,
you get a new result, you get
toned arms, a new weight,
you get your body where it
naturally should be. So I want
you to think about this. Your
results today, including your
arms, are exactly, exactly
where you should be. It's like
a mathematical or chemical
equation, where one side
balances out the other. So it's
based on what you've done.
Which is wonderful, because
it takes the mystery away. It
takes the magic, hoping and
praying, and law of attraction,
away from what you really
want, and it gives you a really
clear path to get it. So if A
and B equals today for you
and you don't like today, you
don't like your arms, you
don't like your eating habits,
you don't like your weight,
then we want to change that,
then we need to back up and
change what you're doing
that got you exactly where
you are today. So I want you,
as I've said in previous
episodes, I want you to take
away the drama today. I want
you to take away what's
optional. Because what's
optional is being upset with
yourself, and beating yourself
up, and lumping everything
together into like, a big blob
of a failure. Because you did
A wrong, does not mean you
do everything wrong.
Because you did one aspect
of the way that you were
living in your body, not as
great as you could have, still
does not mean that you're a
failure. It just means that you
did something that could be
done better, to give you the
result you want. And what
you are doing is giving you a
result that you definitely don'
want. So this is not a big
overall failure. It's not
something wrong with you.
Remember, in an early
episode, we talked about
looking at your arm journey
as a project, right? So this is
how you do a project. You
break it down into all the little
pieces that add up to the
results that you have today.
And then we're going to take
each one separately, and see
what needs to be tweaked,
what needs to be thrown out
totally, what needs to be
changed. If you keep lumping
everything together, let's say
that you're an emotional
eater, and you just lump
everything together. Instead
of looking at what you do
right, and you just tell
yourself, ‘I just can't get this.
I will never get this. I can't
stop eating. I'm eating all the
time. This is never going to
be any better for me’, what
you're doing there, is number
one, blaming yourself.
Number two, you're putting it
all together in one big lump.
What that does is it
immobilizes you. It doesn't
push you forward to figur
out what's wrong. It doesn't
move you toward taking any
new steps. It simply
demoralizes you, makes you
feel awful, and keeps you
stuck where you are. So,
when we take things apart,
and we look at the patterns
that you've been doing, I
want you to look at it really
unemotionally and just think,
‘Alright, I did that, I did it over
and over again. And here's
the result it gave me. I don't
like that result, and I want to
change it. So now I'm going
to try adapting what I used to
do, and changing it to
something else’. And it may
be an experiment where you
change it, then you step back
and see if it works. And if it
doesn't work, you change it
again. But this is how we're
going to work on your arm
toning project.
So let's talk about patterns
that you have done in the
past. Because patterns are
habitual ways of doing things,
habitual ways of thinking and
feeling and eating and
moving. And if they're not
taking you in the right
direction, then those patterns
that you developed, that
you're going to do over and
over again with very little
thought because they're
easy, you've trained yourself
to them, they're going to
keep you stuck right where
you are. So let's take a look
at some of the patterns, and
then we're going to get into
them in more detail next
week.
So here are some possibilities
that you may apply to
yourself, and maybe, you
know, you can recognize
these in your own life. The
first question is, were yo
possibly not motivated to get
a really strong start? Because
if you're not motivated, you
will not have a strong vision
of why you want to tone your
arms, and how you want
things to look for you, which
is like a target that you're
aiming for. If you don't have
that, you don't know what
you're aiming for. Another
possibility that you may
recognize that you've done
is, did you get a really strong
start but eventually hit the
wall when your momentum
started to wane? It's really
important that you learn how
to keep yourself on track and
get up when you fall down
because it is inevitable that
you will fall down. That's part
of learning. Possibly, let me
ask you, did you have a slow
start with your arm toning
and got really impatient and
allow that to throw you o
track? That comes up often
with many of the people I
work with. So, part of a big
goal like toning your arms
involves knowing that you're
really in this for the long haul.
It takes very consistent
action, over long periods of
time, to make a change that's
going to last. Do you really
want a quick fix? If you do,
understand it. We all do. But
if you want a quick fix, and i
you take actions to get that
quick fix, then you need to b
prepared to get a short, quick
but short lived solution. Or
maybe in the past, one of
your patterns was to lose
some weight, but then
struggle to keep it off. Mayb
you looked at the actions you
took to lose it as just
something that you could
stop doing once you got to
that weight. What about your
emotions? Were are you an
emotional eater? Did you use
food to keep yourself feeling
better? And if you did, don't
feel bad. It's just something
that oftentimes our parents
teach us that when we're
kids, and those habits just
stick because food is a fast,
easy way to feel better. But
it's very indirect and it
doesn't really address
whatever's upsetting us,
unless we're upset because
we're hungry. So what about
cravings? Are you possibly a
binge eater? Are you at the
mercy of frequent cravings
for your favorite sweet, or
maybe a starchy carb? I want
you to begin to classify these
past errors. Begin to ask
yourself what went wrong,
but not in a mean way. Be
curious. Play detective.
Because your answers to the
questions that I just read to
you, are going to give you
information that will guide
your next effort right now
and make you more
successful than you've ever
been. Because what we're
doing right now is a rewind.
We're turning back your story
right to the beginning. And
we're seeing where you
began to slide down that
slippery slope. If you're here
and you have things you want
to change, it's okay to
acknowledge that yes, you
slid down the slope. That's
okay. But the difference righ
now is that you're going to
use the knowledge of what
you did wrong, to give you a
much better result this time
around. So beating yourself
up is not only not required,
but please, I want you to start
considering it prohibited. It’s
off limits. The idea instead, i
that I want you to use all the
clues that you're gathering
from your past weight loss
efforts, and transform you
errors into a roadmap of
exactly where all your
potholes are. When you know
your patterns, you can plan
for them, and you can make a
detour. So just because you
fell into the pothole last time,
doesn't mean you will this
time. The very fact that you're
here in this coaching session
with me, and you're clearing
that path, is going to help you
be guided to be your best
self, as you tone yours and
lose this extra weight that
you've accumulated. Also
consider that while you may
have made some errors in the
actions you took, nothing
really went wrong. Because
you're here right now. All
those mistakes brought you
to this perfect time and place
to tone your arms, once and
for all. So doesn't it feel good
to know that by looking at
what went wrong, you're
increasing the odds for you to
do what's needed at this
time. That's really what it's all
about.
What are you going to focus
on? I want you to focus on
what small steps you could
do in all the different area
we talked about, to get to the
next level, and not keep
making those same mistakes.
So for example, if possibly
you didn't plan for all the
times that you were going to
fall down, that is something
that I want you to do right
now. When you look at why
you fell down last time, I want
you to go to them and make
a plan B. Know that it's going
to happen again. It's just your
pattern. It's just your habit.
It's what you've already
learned. So I want you to
think, ‘Alright, I am going to
fall down. I'm going to have a
bunch of failures before I get
to my goal, but I want to look
ahead and say, hey, when
this happens, here's what I'm
going to do’.
If one of the roadblocks or
potholes that you fell into last
time was that maybe you
didn't have realistic
expectations, then I want you
to think about that now. I
want you to think about what
you're hoping for and
working toward for yourself. If
you are five one and 25
pounds and you really wish
that you were 5’11 and 110.
Let's be real. Let's pick a
goal that can fit in your body
in your life. The goal is just to
be the best version of you.
Not the best version of some,
non existent, made up
person. Make sure your
expectations are realistic.
If you answered yes when I
asked if you cope with your
emotions using food, I want
you to start paying close
attention to your thoughts
before you slip into a mood
that triggers the urge to eat.
We'll dive deeper into this
topic as we go, but
emotional eating happens
when you're feeling
something so uncomfortable
that you can’t—or don’t
want to—identify it. All you
know is that you want to
escape the feeling. Instead of
reaching for food, slow
yourself down and remind
yourself that there’s no
emotion you can’t handle.
Avoiding emotions with
food not only prevents you
from addressing the root
cause but also holds you
back from achieving toned,
sculpted arms. Emotional
eating disrupts your
progress, so let yourself feel
those emotions fully instead
of using food—or even
distractions like TV or your
phone—to avoid them.
Facing your emotions is a
powerful step toward
creating the strong, confiden
arms you want.
If you've dealt with too
much restriction, that's going
to lead you to overeating
more, become aware of that.
If you've dealt with feeling
deprived when you say no to
yourself for anything, even if
it's something you should
say no to yourself, let's start
being aware of that. I want
you to think of what other
sources you give yourself of
pleasure, besides food. If
food is your main source of
pleasure, obviously it's going
to be very hard to cut down
on your pleasure. So be
realistic, be honest. What
else do you do in your life
besides give yourself
something delicious for
pleasure? Have you been
neglecting yourself? I want
you to listen to the episode
on self care, and start
making a plan.
I just gave you several
different categories, wit
many different parts to them
that are deep and
complicated and complex.
That doesn't mean this is too
much for you. I don't want
you to go into overwhelm. I
don't want you to tell yourself
that you can’t do it. But one
of the things that you can do
is get help when you need it.
And you might be interested
in checking out my program,
Arms By Kristine, if you want
support with any of this. Be
aware of what you put your
focus on, because you are
creating the You that you
want to be. If you focus on
everything that's wrong or
that you're struggling with,
that's where you'll stay. If you
focus on what you want, and
in your arms toning project,
there's some obstacles. But
your job is to just figure ou
the obstacles. You can do
that.
For today, we're going to
stop here and I want you to
think about why you gained
the fat and flab on your arm
and break it down. And next
week we're going to look at
your specific patterns. An
go a little bit deeper into how
you got here, and what you
can do to move out of this.
But you did the best you
could, with what you knew.
Now that you know more,
you will do better. So please
don't beat yourself up for
being where you are today. I
hope to see you back next
week!
