Episode Transcript
Are you waiting until the perfect time to commit to sculpting
your arms and taking care of yourself?
You may even have done this multiple times, and then when that
time or date came, there was some seemingly legitimate reason
to delay.
If you are tired of wearing long sleeves to hide your arms,
listen in as we talk about the main difference between those
who accomplish their arm goals and those who don’t.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode
#20. Before we get started I wanted to remind you that at the end
of the month I’m sending one of you a $100 dollar Visa gift card.
It’s going to someone who has written a review for the Arm
Coach podcast. So if you’re loving this podcast, be sure to leave
a review on whichever platform you’re listening.
Today, you’re going to get a gentle kick in the butt from me to
you. If you're one of those people that's always waiting for the
perfect time to sculpt your arms, lose weight and start taking
care of yourself, there is no perfect time. All of us have our
favorite excuses. But I want you to realize that life is normally one
big challenge, one after another. Waiting, starts off for what we
think of as a true reason, but then it soon becomes one big
excuse after another. And then going to those excuses becomes
a habit that you do. When we start something, it means we need
to commit to it. So we declare our intentions, we say what we're
going to do, we dig in, we map out our plan, and we begin the
journey. But when we wait for the right time, what happens is that
we start looking for problems. So instead of focusing on what's
ahead of us, we just stay stuck. We look around us, and our
tendency is to look for problems, not realizing that having
problems to solve is part of being human. Problems don't mean
stop. Problems just mean, make a plan. Did you ever hear
anyone talk about some goal they had? Maybe it was losing
weight, or going back to school. Or maybe it was changing jobs
or starting to work out, or get organized. Most of us have these
goals, but they're very vague. We don't really plan. We don't
really have steps to take. We just have a vague vision. So, when
you actually hear of someone accomplishing something, usually
you're very impressed. And I am too. Maybe a little surprised
because of all the things that we've said we wanted to do, and
never did ourselves. The main difference between the people
who accomplish their goals and those of us who don't, is that
they begin. They don't wait. They don't wait for their ducks to get
lined up in a row because there are no ducks to line up in a row.
There is no there. There is no perfect. When I have a consultation
with someone who clearly wants and needs to lose a chunk of
weight, I'm excited. I'm excited because I know I can help them,
but sometimes they're afraid to commit. And I'm wondering if you
might be too. Why? Because when you think about making a
commitment and moving forward, you may think that you don't
have a history of succeeding and following through. So you may
not have the confidence to think that you can definitely do this. I
want you to know that when you're starting any project,
especially one that you've never completed before, that its
natural to have doubt. Doubt in yourself, doubt in the plan. And
doubt that the time is right. I want you to think about all the
things you've done that required a leap of faith. Every day you
wake up and get out of bed. You face the day. And the day is full
of unknowns, but you continue anyway. Why? Because you want
to create something. To fulfill your obligations. To do what's right.
But when you have a goal that's just for you, somehow this feels
a little different, doesn't it? If you're a parent or a pet owner, or in
a relationship with any human being who needed your help, and
if they came to you and asked for help, you would do what it
takes. I know you would, and yet for you, not so much. All
conditions must be go. All lights must be green. Or it's back to
the runway, in a holding pattern. And life in a constant holding
pattern, from what you desire, isn't really fully living. Sometimes
you might wait to get started because you have too many goals.
Or goals that are so big that you literally don't know where to
start. And this may bring out that perfectionist in you. You know
what I'm about to say here. Pick one small goal. Pick a tiny piece
of that one goal, and start. There is no perfect place to start
going after what you want. The perfect place is right where you
are. Wherever you are is a good place to start, at whatever
weight, with whatever habits you have. It doesn't matter. Women
who achieve what you wish you could achieve, only differ in one
big way.
They started. Despite whatever work was ahead of them, they
started. Despite whatever doubts, they started. And despite
falling down 100 times before, they didn't let that keep them off
the playing field going forward. When you think about starting a
project, naturally, doubt comes up. Also, ambivalence and
uncertainty. But this is where you need to dig deep within
yourself and reach for something further than you've ever
reached. We all have mixed feelings about many things we do,
right? And often those mixed feelings, hold us back from doing
anything. And while you're struggling, and telling yourself that
you're not ready, I promise you someone out there with as many
challenges as you, is moving ahead. When clients start working
with me, I help them do an exercise that shows them all the
reasons they might struggle. Together we look at all aspects of
the goal, ahead of time. First we take a look at the benefits of
embarking on the journey. Now these are usually the reasons that
are easiest for you to access. You know why you want to sculpt
your arms, and lose the whole weight loss drama. You know, or
can at least envision, how much better you'll feel, right? You can
imagine what kind of clothes you wear, how good you feel in your
body. You can visualize how your health will improve and how
much better you'll feel about yourself. This part is easy. But then I
want you to look at what moving ahead will cost you. It's the cost
of lifting weights and losing that weight. Wait, I can hear you say
‘wait a minute, you mean there's a downside here?’ Yes, you can
have a goal, and it won't be all roses and rainbows. Yes, all goals
have downsides. They all have a cost. For example, if you want
to lose weight and learn to not use food to feel better
emotionally, then you're going to have to do several things. You'll
have to be conscious when you eat. You'll have to make sure
you're actually hungry, physically hungry, when you eat. And you
might have to make changes in the quality of what you're eating.
You may have to eat less. And sometimes, you might even need
to say no to yourself. Just imagine. These things are all the costs
of moving ahead, and changing your eating. If the outcome is
something you really want, no problem. The cost is worth it to
you. Of course that's something that you need to decide. But
looking at the costs, ahead of time, and spelling them out, and
then deciding that it's still worth it to make eating changes, that
is how you do it. So those costs are in hidden and lurking in the
background of your mind, making you afraid to move ahead.
Let's bring the cost of doing this into the front of your mind. Just
like all the imagined benefits of losing weight. But we're not done
yet. I also want you to think about the benefits of staying the
same. Not making changes. Not losing weight. Not learning to
manage your emotions. Just keeping on, keeping on, the way
you have been. Now I can hear you say ‘But there are no
benefits. Of course I want to lose weight. It's just not the right
time for me. I'm not ready’. Well, what's holding you back can
very well be that you don't want to give up the benefits of staying
the same. The benefits, like not having to become a conscious
eater. Like not having to wait to be hungry to eat. Like not having
to stop eating when you're no longer hungry. Sound familiar?
Maybe you secretly dread adding movement into your life. Maybe
you think you'll have to do an Ironman race or become a
marathoner to lose weight. Of course you don't. But maybe
that's what you're afraid of. If you don't change, you don't have
to look at your habits. You don't have to take great care of
yourself. You don't have to try and risk failing. Now that is a really
big one. It keeps you nice and safe and cozy in your own little
world, complaining about your weight and your eating, but not
taking action. And the reality is, that not taking action has a
secret benefit. And that is, you can't fail. If you don't try, you
can’t fail. So what if you still have this goal? You still want to
make a commitment to changing how you eat? That's good. But
there's one more thing to take a look at and be aware of.
And that is the cost of staying the same. Of not taking the
challenge and making changes. These costs are silent. They may
not shout at you, but they eat away at your well being. They
demoralize you. They attack your self esteem and then you lose
belief in yourself. The costs of staying the same, and not moving
ahead with your weight and your eating, are different for
everyone, but they might be something like this. You get to eat
whatever you want, whenever you want, however much you
want. But your weight doesn't change, unless it goes up. And
you never say no to yourself. You can escape a funky emotion by
eating, and put off feeling anything negative. But if you never deal
with life without food, if you're an emotional eater, you're never
dealing with reality. You're never dealing with your issues. So
there are lots of reasons you don't dive in and commit. But if it
still always stays there, under the surface, not allowing you to live
your best life, then I want to poke you just a little bit, and ask you
to ask yourself, What are you waiting for? If you're still telling
yourself the signs aren’t right yet, the moon isn't in the right
place, your horoscope says not to make any changes, or maybe
your family's not ready to support you, I want to challenge you.
Because there are two sides to every dilemma. Now, I'm clearly
prejudice, because I think it's in your best interest to take action
and move toward what you want most. Which brings me to why
you still might shy away from getting started, and moving toward
your goals. Fear of failing. Fear of showing yourself, once again,
that you can’t do this. That maybe others can, but you can't.
After all, what if that’s true? I know you've heard me say that if
anyone can do this, you can too. But still, you're afraid because
what if you just can’t? As unique and wonderful as we all are,
your problems aren't truly unique. And the steps out of those
problems, aren't unique to you either. So I truly believe, and with
years of experience to back me up, that if anyone can do this,
you can too. But, I get it, that the fear of ‘what if I'm a special
case’ can keep stopping you.
So here's what I'd like to say to you. There is no perfect time.
This will be work. And you will most definitely fall down several
times before you get where you want to be. And it's still worth it.
Every single step forward you take will provide you with new
evidence to show your old thinking, that yes, this is possible. And
every time you encounter a blip in the road, and work your way
through it, you will be creating new evidence that you can do
hard things. And eventually, you will get to your goal. But taking
the first few steps are the hardest ones. And getting started,
despite imperfect conditions, is key. No one said this would be a
piece of cake. All right, I'm sorry. I couldn't resist that one. But
truly, this is doable. And everything in life that's worth doing, is a
bit, or even more than a bit, of a challenge. Sometimes just
getting out of bed is a challenge. And it's always worth it.
So I want you to think about all the reasons that it's not perfect
timing right now to begin your weight loss journey. I want you to
face and list all the benefits of not losing weight and dealing with
your eating, and emotional issues. List all the costs to you, of
embarking on a program. That's right. All the sad, hard,
seemingly impossible, reasons for why now is not a good time.
Now I want you to switch gears. And switch your focus to the
benefits of doing this, which we talked about, and the cost of
staying the same. Acknowledge why you might not want to
tackle this. Then switch your gaze to another direction. To why
you do want to do this. And start looking for why this is the
perfect time. Yes, not just a good time to start, but the perfect
time. If you’re here listening to me, you and I both know that
you're tired of allowing your weight and your eating, to rule your
life. You know you're tired of having something to hide. And
something that when you think about it, you feel less than.
Especially when it just takes a leap. If you think you're ready to
stop listening to your scared little voice, waiting for that perfect
moment, go back and start listening to episode one. Give these
lessons, as a gift to yourself. Learn to finally eat like a naturally
slender woman. Because the time will never be objectively
perfect. I don't know anyone, including myself, who doesn't have
several things to deal with, going on, at all times. Those perfect
moments, when the sunset is beautiful, and the houses clean,
and your bank account is higher than you thought, those
moments are very rare. What's more common is, it's family
celebrations. Your son is having a fight with his best buddy. Your
boss has just loaded you up with more projects than you think
anyone should handle. And, yes, it's the holidays. That is life.
Imperfect and full. And up and down and wonderful. So commit
to yourself. Commit to a future without worrying about your
weight, and what you just ate, and what you wish you could eat.
Jump in and life will reach out to support you. And so will I. I
hope this coaching session gives you that gentle push to stop
telling yourself you're not ready to make changes. I hope you
jump into the water, knowing that things can only get better. Even
things that aren't easy, even things that take work, because it's
all worth it. We'll be talking about this subject more down the
road. And also, just a reminder, Be The Boss Weight Loss is my
coaching program for weight loss and emotional eating, and
you'll find a link to that in the comments. So that's it for now. I’ll
see next week!
