Episode Transcript
If you’ve ever felt like you have to “get it right” to see results with your arms… this
episode is your permission slip to let that go.
Today, we’re talking about why trying to be perfect is actually what’s holding you back —
and how embracing imperfection is the key to long-term strength, consistency, and
sculpted arms that feel like you again.
Hey everyone! Welcome to The Arm Coach podcast, episode 63!
What we’re talking about in this episode might just be the thing that changes how you
show up for yourself. Especially if you’ve been chasing toned arms and wondering why
it feels hard to stay consistent.
Here’s the truth: if you want real results — if you want arms that are strong, sculpted,
and feel like you again — you have to let go of the idea that it’s supposed to be perfect.
I know that might sound backwards at first. But I actually want you to start welcoming
imperfection. Like, not just tolerating it — but expecting it. Because when you’re
learning to do something new — whether it’s a new workout, a new habit, or a new way
of thinking — imperfection isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re in the
process.
It’s proof that you’re practicing. And practicing is how we grow.
So that’s what we’re going to dig into today. We’re going to talk about what we all
secretly wish this journey would feel like — and why it doesn’t. We’re going to talk about
what it actually takes to learn new skills, to build strength, and to shift into someone who
follows through.
And we’re especially going to talk about those messy middle moments — when things
don’t go the way you planned, and your brain wants to turn that into a reason to quit.
That moment right there? That’s the one we’re going to train for.
Because the worst thing you can do isn’t doing it imperfectly. It’s believing that because
it wasn’t perfect, you should stop.
So let’s get into it. You want strong, beautiful arms — I know that. But what do you wish
the process of getting there would feel like?
Most of us — and I was the same way — we want this whole arm-toning thing to be
fast. We want to see results yesterday. And let’s be honest, we want it to be easy too.
Like, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just do a few workouts, eat a couple healthy meals,
and boom—sculpted arms? Done.
And here’s the part a lot of women don’t say out loud, but I hear it all the time — deep
down, you want to do it perfectly. No slip-ups, no skipped days, no struggling. You want
to follow the plan exactly and have it all work out without a single hiccup. And if we’re
dreaming big here, you’d probably like to just skip the messy part in the middle — that
uncomfortable, inconsistent, awkward phase where it doesn’t feel like it’s working yet —
and go straight to the part where you look in the mirror and think, “Wow… I did it.”
And of course, if we’re picking how this goes, we’d like to get an A+ in the process too,
right? Gold star for flawless execution.
But that’s just not how real change happens. That’s not how you build something that
lasts.
The truth is, when it comes to creating strong, toned arms — especially when you’re
doing it in your 50s or beyond — it’s going to be a little messy. Because what you’re
really doing here is learning. You’re learning how to move differently, how to think
differently, how to treat your body with more awareness and intention. You’re noticing
what you’re currently doing, why it’s giving you the results you have now, and then
figuring out how to start doing things in a new way.
That is the work. And it’s not supposed to be perfect.
And when you start thinking about what you really want — it’s not just the shape of your
arms, or how they look in a tank top. It’s becoming the woman who shows up for
herself. Who keeps going, even when it’s not perfect. Who builds trust, not just muscle.
And that version of you? She’s already in there. We’re just learning how to let her lead.
Here’s what I want you to start thinking about — not just, “How do I get toned arms?”
but deeper than that. I want you to ask yourself, How do I want to show up in my life?
What kind of woman do I want to be?
How does she move? How does she think about her body? How does she take care of
herself on the days when motivation isn’t there? What does she do when it gets hard?
When you start thinking from that place, you can begin to see the gap — not just
between how your arms look now and how you want them to look — but between how
you’re currently living and how you want to live.
It’s not just about results. It’s about the routines and the habits and the mindset that lead
to those results.
And once you see that gap, now you know what needs to happen: you learn. You
practice. You build the skills that are missing between here and there. Because if you
keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting the same results you’ve got
now.
But change? Change means choosing to do something new. Not all at once — just one
thing at a time. You do a little research. You pick a few new actions to try. You
experiment. You practice. And little by little, those awkward new habits turn into
something that feels automatic. They start to feel like you.
And that’s where it gets really good. Because once you build those skills and repeat
them enough, they stop feeling hard. You start to feel more confident, more capable,
and yes — stronger in your body and in your mind.
That’s how real change happens. That’s how you go from where you are… to the
version of you who follows through, who shows up, and who feels proud of what she’s
creating.
So let’s bring this back to your arms — and what it’s actually going to take to change the
way they look and feel.
Everything we just talked about — learning new skills, seeing the gap, practicing until it
sticks — all of that applies here too. We just have to shift the focus. Instead of thinking
about what you eat or how much you weigh, I want you to think about the routines
you’re living in right now. Think of it like a simple equation: the way you move, the way
you rest, the way you think about yourself — all of that equals the results you currently
have in your arms.
So if you want those results to change — the inputs have to change too.
That doesn’t mean overhauling everything overnight or swearing off entire food groups
or committing to some bootcamp-level workout you hate. It means we start to gently
dissect what’s actually going on in your day-to-day life. We look at what you’re already
doing, and then we start to see where the most impactful shifts can be made.
And this is where I really want you to pause — not to criticize or panic — but to get
curious.
Step back and take a look at your habits with fresh eyes. Are you moving your body with
purpose… or are you skipping it because life feels too full? Are you working out only
when you're “motivated”… or have you created something that works even when you’re
not?
What makes you start a new habit? What usually makes you stop? When do you give
yourself permission to show up — and when do you quietly let it slide?
And beyond that, just zoom out and look at how you’re treating yourself in general.
What does your life look like right now? Is there space in it for you? Because that
matters.
This takes mindfulness. It takes that moment of pulling back from the swirl of your to-do
list and asking, “How am I really doing this? What am I actually prioritizing?”
Not from guilt. From power. From the belief that if you can see it, you can shift it.
We’ve been talking about how all learning — real learning — needs to be imperfect.
And I want you to really sit with that.
Because here’s what I believe: learning something new, whether it’s a way of moving
your body, building strength, or simply showing up for yourself in a different way — it’s
never a straight line.
It’s not a neat, upward path. It’s messy. It’s zig-zags and stumbles. It’s two steps
forward, one step back… and sometimes, it’s one step forward and two steps back. But
eventually — you get there.
And the only way you don’t get there… is if you expect yourself to do it perfectly, and
then quit the moment it isn’t.
That’s why I want you to aim to be imperfect on purpose. I know, it sounds
counterintuitive, right? But if you're waiting to start until you can do it perfectly, or if you
stop every time it gets messy — that’s what will keep you stuck.
You want sculpted arms? You want to feel strong and confident and proud in your body
again? Then you need to practice not just the workouts, not just the habits — but the
skill of falling down and getting back up.
Because that’s where the magic happens.
I want you to expect imperfection. To practice resilience. To build your strength not just
in your arms, but in your ability to keep going.
That’s how you build a life where showing up for yourself is just what you do. Not
perfectly — but consistently, even when it’s messy.
You don’t need to chase an A+. You need to take the next step, even if it’s a B minus. I
had a teacher once who used to say, “Dare to be mediocre.” And what she meant was:
dare to stop overthinking. Dare to show up without needing it to be perfect. Dare to try,
to fall, to learn, to grow.
Because if you keep waiting to get it right, you’ll miss the chance to get stronger. But if
you let yourself be imperfect? You’ll be unstoppable.
So when I think about imperfection, I don’t see failure. I see progress. I see power. I see
a woman who’s becoming who she’s always wanted to be — one imperfect rep at a
time.
So let’s talk about what you can actually do to start showing up this way — imperfectly,
consistently, and with way more self-compassion than maybe you’ve ever given yourself
before.
The first step? Take a look at your life — the big picture.
Think about all the different areas that matter to you. Your relationships. Your career.
Your health. Your energy. Your home. Your finances. Your sense of joy and peace. All of
it.
Now ask yourself this: where in those areas are you demanding an A+ from yourself at
all times?
Because I’m betting that when it comes to your body — especially your arms or your
health habits — you’ve set the bar really high. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the one
area where you’re the least forgiving with yourself.
And if that’s true — I want you to really think about this: in those other areas of your life,
when things don’t go perfectly, do you immediately beat yourself up? Or do you give
yourself a little grace, knowing that you’re human and figuring it out as you go?
And what about those times when you've expected an A+ across the board? Has that
perfectionism actually helped you move forward… or has it made you want to give up
entirely?
Because here’s what I see over and over: women push so hard to be perfect that the
second they feel like they’ve failed, they throw in the towel. They take a break,
disappear for a while, and feel like they’re starting from scratch all over again.
But what if… instead of quitting when it’s not perfect, you just decided a B minus was
enough?
What if you gave yourself permission to show up imperfectly and still see it as progress?
I’m not saying don’t aim high. I want you to feel like you’re living as the strongest, most
vibrant version of yourself. That’s the goal. But if you’re holding yourself to an A+
standard in every part of your life, you’re going to spend a lot of time feeling like you’re
failing — and that kills motivation faster than anything else.
So here’s what I want you to try: pick one area — like your arms, your workouts, your
consistency — and see if you can let a B minus be good enough. If you show up but
don’t hit every rep. If you eat mostly aligned with your goals but not perfectly. If you skip
a day, but you come back.
Can that still count as progress?
Because I promise you — the women who get the results? They’re the ones who keep
going, not the ones who do it perfectly.
And that’s what I want for you. Not perfection. Progress with compassion.
So let’s say you’ve decided — okay, I want this. I want strong, beautiful arms. I want to
feel proud when I see myself in the mirror. And I’m willing to do it imperfectly. I’m willing
to give up the A+ and aim for a solid B minus if it means I finally keep going.
So… how do you actually move through the moments when imperfection shows up?
You start by getting really clear on what you want. Not just toned arms, but the version
of you who lives in that body. What does she feel like? How does she show up in her
day? You’ve got to picture that life — the future you — and hold it close, not as a
measuring stick to beat yourself up, but as a vision that pulls you forward.
Then, instead of obsessing over the final result — the look, the measurements, the
before and after — you shift your focus to the process. Because the process is
everything. The process is what actually changes you.
It’s the little actions you repeat day after day. The way you talk to yourself when you
miss a workout. The way you move your body when no one’s watching. The choices
you make when you’re tired, or frustrated, or feeling stuck.
The result will come — but only if you stop using it as the proof that you’re doing okay.
Let your vision inspire you, but let your steps be what you celebrate.
So when you tell yourself, “This B minus effort is enough,” know that it is. Because a B
minus is still forward. And forward is what we’re after.
And yes — you will fall. You will skip days. You will forget your plan, mess it up, and
have moments where you wonder if it’s even working. But every single one of those
moments is an invitation to learn something. It’s a chance to get stronger not just in your
body, but in your belief.
There’s a book I love called Failing Forward by John Maxwell, and the whole idea is
this: your failures are never wasted. They hold lessons. Insights. Strength you didn’t
know you were building — until you look back and realize how far you’ve come.
But if you hate yourself every time you miss the mark — if you only give yourself
permission to feel good when it’s perfect — you will hate the journey. And if you hate the
journey, you’ll quit.
And if you quit, you’ll be standing in the same spot a year from now — still wishing, still
wondering, still waiting.
That’s not what I want for you.
I want you to give yourself grace now. Not because you’re giving up — but because
you're finally choosing a path that feels good enough to stick with. One that’s built on
daily wins, not daily pressure.
So let this be the takeaway from today’s episode: if you want strong, sculpted arms,
don’t aim for perfection. Aim for progress. Practice showing up, even when it’s messy.
Give yourself permission to be human — and trust that B minus effort, done
consistently, will take you farther than you ever imagined.
Here’s what I want you to do until next time: don’t focus on the number — not the scale,
not the tape measure. Know your numbers, sure, but don’t obsess over them.
Instead, pick one small thing. One tiny shift you want to make this week in how you
move, how you follow through, or how you talk to yourself. Maybe it’s doing that arm
circuit even when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s laying out your workout clothes the
night before. Maybe it’s choosing to show up with curiosity instead of judgment.
Whatever it is — make it small, make it doable, and do it. And then let me know how it
goes. I love hearing from you.
Alright, that’s it for today. You’ve got this. Be kind to yourself. Keep moving forward. And
I’ll see you back next week
