Episode Transcript
If you've ever struggled with
your arms, your eating, your
weight, or just feeling stuck
in old habits, today’s episode
is going to change the way
you think.
Today we’re going beyond
just toning arms—we’re
talking about decluttering
your life from the inside out.
Because what if cleaning out
your closet could actually
help you change the way you
eat... and even transform
your arms?
Hey everyone! Welcome to
The Arm Coach podcast,
episode 52!
Today we're going to talk
about how cleaning out
your closet can actually
change your arms, and
your weight. This episode
is inspired by my work
with one of my favorite
clients, and we were
talking about clearing out
her closet. And at the
same time we were
talking about considering
letting go of some
thoughts and some
beliefs that were holding
her back. Now, if you're a
reader of self
development books or
fun nonfiction books, you
probably have heard of
Marie Condos book, The
Life Changing Magic of
Tidying Up. It’s a global
bestseller. And so many
of us are drawn to read
about, although not
necessarily do, cleaning
up, straightening up,
getting things organized,
putting things in order.
And what psychologists
are saying is that,
because so much of your
life you're not able to
control, that mastering a
small part of your world,
makes you feel more
confident that you can
conquer whatever comes
your way. So this came
up recently with this
client, and we both could
see that the same
principles apply to
organizing your
environment, and letting
go of what doesn't fit.
And also, looking at
what's going on in your
mind, and possibly
considering, consciously,
letting go of what may be
holding you back. And
you may apply this to any
changes that you're trying
to make in your life. It
may be how you eat. It
may be how you take
care of yourself. It may be
not taking time to get
ready for your week so
that things can go
smoothly for you. But
whatever it is that you're
trying to do, where you're
running into resistance, it
very well may be because
you're holding on to old
beliefs, and old thoughts
about yourself. And
although it's pretty
common for us to make a
project out of cleaning up
our kitchen, going
through our pantries, or
going through our closet,
it's not as often, if ever,
that we really think about
our most important
storage unit of all. And
that is the closet of our
mind. Because our mind
is what holds your
collection of thoughts. It
holds your collection of all
your feelings. And as you
know if you've listened,
your thoughts allow you
to create a feeling. And
your feelings are what
lead you to all the things
you do in the world. And
all of these things
together, your thoughts,
your feelings and what
you do, they all become
your results. All of your
results become your life.
Who you are, how you
show up in the world. So
this storage unit, this
closet of your mind, just
like perhaps a closet in
your bedroom, is packed
full of things that may not
fit you. That may not be
flattering on you. That
may not make you feel
great. But because
they're still there, you may
not question them. And if
they're still in your closet,
I'm going to use the
closet interchangeably
now, but if something is
still in your closet, you are
going to keep reaching
for it. And imagine that
your mind is just like your
closet. If your mind is
cluttered with old ways of
thinking about you, who
you are, and what you're
capable of, if nobody
points that out to you,
you're going to keep
reaching for those old
thoughts. And that's why
you're going to keep
getting the old results. So
after a while, even though
the clothes in the closet
don't fit, and the thoughts
in your mind don't serve
you, you're still using
them. You're still reaching
for them. It's hard to see
because your vision is
going to start being
clouded. You'll be
confused. You won't see
yourself clearly. And what
happens, just like an
uncomfortable shirt that's
too tight on you but you
keep wearing it, you get
used to the discomfort.
An uncomfortable thought
in your mind, it's a story
you may have been
holding onto, possibly for
years unless someone
points it out to you, you
may still hold on to that
story even though it
makes you feel awful.
And there's very few
people in our life who
would tell us, ‘You know,
you've been divorced for
17 years and you're still
talking about your ex.
And every time you do,
you feel upset, and you
feel bad about yourself.’
Very few people will come
out and tell us that. Just
like very few people will
come out and tell you that
what you're wearing is the
wrong color for you, or
it's too short, or it doesn't
fit right, or it's just not
your best look. So the
reason I'm talking about
this, is that I want you to
begin looking in the
mirror, and mostly, truly to
begin looking at what
you're thinking, and judge
for yourself whether a
thought is serving you.
Whether it fits well. When
you want to change,
whether it's your
environment, your
closets, your bathroom,
or the way that you think,
the first thing you need to
do is step back, right?
Step back and see what
you're doing first. So you
can see where you want
to be and what the gap is
in between. It's almost as
if you were trying on the
clothes in your closet,
and you went in front of a
two way mirror, so you
could see the front and
the back. You really want
to start examining what's
going on in your
thoughts. And you could
tell this easily by looking
at your mood. Because
your feelings, your mood,
are created by what
you're thinking. So if you
want to know what you're
thinking, look at your
mood. If you're feeling
pretty good most of the
time, chances are good
that you're thinking
thoughts that are good for
you. That are nourishing,
that make you feel good.
But if your mood is pretty
negative a lot of the time,
then chances are good
that you may be using old
stories to go through your
life that no longer fit. Just
like an old coat that no
longer can button, it's not
doing its job. And your
thoughts need to be at
least as carefully chosen
as the things you put on
your body. So you need
to step back and rise
above. Look down at your
life. See if you could see
some patterns. This is
what coaches do. They
give you perspective, and
they help you see what
you cannot see yourself.
Now, you could also ask
a close friend, to say, ‘you
know, gosh, I'm always in
this mood and I'm always
worrying about this. Can
you tell me what you see
in what I'm doing? I’d
love for you to be
objective, it would really
help.’ Because you know,
if we don't say that, a lot
of friends only want to tell
us something good.
Because they love us,
they care about us. They
want us to feel good.
They don't want to hurt
our feelings. So ask them,
‘Do you see any patterns
in what I'm doing?’ Now it
doesn't mean that you're
going to take every single
thing anyone offers to you
and act on it, but it might
give you something to
consider. And then after
you step back and you
see where you are and
what you need to change,
then you need to begin to
let go of what doesn't fit.
And just like you would
do that when you're
cleaning out your closet,
your wardrobe, if
something doesn't fit, it's
obvious, right? And it
goes into a pile to toss or
to give away. When a
thought no longer serves
you, it no longer makes
you feel good, there is no
reason to hold on to it.
Now know in the
beginning, that anything
that you've been thinking
for a while, it's going to
keep coming up
automatically for you.
That's normal. You've
created a pathway in your
brain, where you always
will have this ‘go to’
thought until you begin to
catch yourself and correct
yourself.
So I'll give you a couple
of examples for me. I
used to think that when I
was tired, that there was
no choice. If I hadn't
gotten sleep at night, that
the next day would be an
awful day, and I probably
would not eat well. Most
likely, I would overeat.
That was just a story. It
was an old story. In the
beginning, it came from
some truth because
several times that's what
happened to me. But then
I made it my mantra, I
made it a belief, and I
truly believed it. So guess
what, if I truly believe that
if I wake up from lack of
sleep I won't be able to
eat well, well, then if I
really believe that, I won't.
And I'll keep proving
myself correct. And one
of my coach friends
helped me see that in a
funny way. One of the
other things I used to
believe that no longer fit
me or my life, was that if I
didn't do my exercise in
the morning, it would not
happen ever. That's it for
the rest of the day, I
would never be able to do
it. And she also showed
me how silly that belief
was. It wasn't true. It
didn't fit me anymore. It
didn't help me be happy.
Just like a pair of pants
that were too tight on
you, they’re not going to
make you feel good every
time you put them on. So
I eventually was able to
realize what I was saying,
catch myself, and let go
of those thoughts. I was
clearing out the clutter of
my mind. Now, once
you've done this, once
you begin to clear out
your mind, just like if you
were clearing out your
closet, and you finally
allow yourself to get rid of
a lot of things that don't
serve you, don't fit, aren't
flattering, guess what?
Now you have room. Now
you have room to add in
new things that make you
look and feel like the
person you want to be.
Well, it's the same thing
with your thoughts. You
need to clear out what's
not working, so you can
try on new thoughts and
new perspectives. Who
do you want to be in the
world? Think about that.
How would this person
live? How would she act?
How would she eat? How
would she take care of
herself? What would it
feel like to walk inside this
person that you want to
be? So you're trying on a
new way of thinking.
Because if you want to
make any changes in your
life, remember, it's not
from the outside. The
outside matters, but the
changes that you make
from the inside are the
ones that are lasting. And
they, of course, eventually
will show up on the
outside.
So now you're ready to
step into a new wardrobe
of clothing, but you're
also ready to step into a
new selection of thinking.
Because if you're doing
the work on your mind,
you've gotten rid of what
doesn't work, then you’re
left with thoughts that do,
now you're beginning to
add in new ways of
looking at yourself, at the
world that you live in, and
at your life. We all get
used to seeing ourself
one way. But the way that
you can be in your world,
in your life, and also what
you do and what you
create, your life, your
body, your emotions,
everything, the way that
you are is all up to you.
Just as you could literally
toss out an old, worn
wardrobe that no longer
fits and doesn't look right,
you literally can decide to
think in a different way.
So it's not as instant as
giving all the clothes
away and buying new
ones, because you do
have habits. But once
you're aware of
something that no longer
fits, that you've been
thinking or feeling or
doing, you can catch
yourself every time you
start to go into it, and you
can replace it with
something different. You
can let go of old stories,
old hurts, old excuses.
Stop ruminating about
things that used to bother
you, that in fact, don't
really have to anymore.
So we've talked today
about two things. Why we
feel so good when we
can clean out a part of
our environment. Our
home, our closet, our
clothing, whatever it may
be. But what you usually
don't focus on is that you
can accomplish the same
type of cleaning out, and
reorganizing, and
reordering, with what's
going on in your mind. If
you clear the clutter from
your home, you can clear
the clutter that's not
making you feel good
from your mind. And that
is what will make the
space for you to insert the
kinds of thinking that do
make you feel good, and
do make you take the
actions you want to take
to get yourself to do what
you want to do in a much,
much easier way. So,
cleaning out your closet,
cleaning out your mind,
here's your focus for this
week. I want you to open
your closet and look at
everything in it. Look at
the general state of it. Is it
organized? Does it look
appealing when you open
it? Is everything in it
something that fits, that
you feel good in, that is
current, that you actually
wear, that makes you feel
proud and confident? Or
is it filled with too many
old items, the wrong
style, the wrong color, the
wrong fit. Now, switch
back and let's think about
what's going on in your
mind. Are the stories that
you're telling yourself
most commonly, because
we all tend to tell
ourselves the same
stories pretty much over
and over again, are they
reflective of who you
used to be, or are they
reflective of who you want
to be. Your mind is the
storage unit for all your
thoughts, your feelings,
your self image. Your self
esteem comes from that
whole collection. Are you
holding on to thoughts
about yourself that are
holding you back? Are
you holding on to
thoughts about yourself
that don't allow you to do
wonderful things, and
take care of yourself? Are
you holding on to
thoughts that stop you
from eating when your
body has had enough? I
want you to pick one
thought, one thought that
does not serve you, that
you can let go. It may be
something that begins
with, ‘I can’t', or ‘it's hard
to’ or ‘I never’. Ponder it
for a few days and think
about it as if you were
emptying your closet, and
only leaving in things that
made you feel special,
and cared for, and loved.
Because you are the one
that has to give you love
first, before you can get it
from anyone else in the
world. And it all starts
with what's in your mind.
Now we will come back
to this subject in the area
of thinking, and in the
area of self care, but in
the meantime, let me
know how you do with
this exercise. I hope that
you're inspired to not only
clean out a physical part
of your home, but also to
take a look at what you've
been carrying around in
the beautiful mind you
have and whether you
really want to keep it or
not. That's it for this
subject in our coaching
session today. You know
what to stay focused on.
